12 Days of 108mas: Worst Dad in Christmas Movies

If there is one thing Christmas movies are jammed pack with, it’s horrible dads.  For example, Peter McCallister leaves his 8 year old son at home while he goes off on a trip.  And then, when he realizes the shit, he doesn’t just go back by himself and take care of it.  But he’s not the worst.  The worst is Rand Peltzer from Gremlins.

The Intro

I just rewatched the movie to make sure I wasn’t giving him a bad rap.  I did not remember the very beginning of the movie.  The movie starts with Rand walking our of a dark alley with a young Asian boy.  They don’t explain how he met this kid or what he was doing in an alley with him.  That shit is simply skipped over, and then he follows the kid to some underground store that his grandfather runs.

The Purchase

Rand goes into the store to try and sell one of his shitty inventions, which I’ll get to soon, but is quickly distracted.  I think this is where I should mention that Judge Reinhold is in this movie, and it’s probable that he beats it to Phoebe Cates in this movie too, but that’s not shown.  What he does say, however, is that Billy Peltzer is basically supporting the family.  So this jackass makes it seem like he’s buying this Mogwai for his son, but he’s actually just throwing around $200 of his son’s cash like it’s fucking nothing.  Not to mention, he sees a creature that he’s never seen before and determines this to be an incredible present.  Even more confusing is that they show him talk to the kid for 5 seconds outside the shop at night.  He doesn’t get home til sometime later the next day and knows way more about the Mogwai and has named it.  What the hell are him and that kid up to?

The Inventions

Just a quick sidebar here.  His inventions are all awful.  Not only that, they’re just awful versions of existing inventions, like juicers and coffee makers.  Homer Simpson’s make-up shotgun is a better invention than his goddamn bathroom buddy or egg cracker or card dealer.  This guy is just the worst.

The Rest of the Movie

So he shows up with this weird ass creature, with weird ass rules and then he just hands the shit off and peaces out.  It’s incredibly irresponsible.  Like levels beyond my imagination.  And then you only hear from him a few times.  But at one point, he’s on his way home and might actually make it in time to do something.  Instead, he convinces a gas station worker to buy his bullshit ashtray.  I’m sure that fucking thing paid for his whole expensive ass trip.  So now, he shows up just in time to do absolutely nothing after his son saves the day.

The End

The old guy resurfaces and Billy finds out that his dad basically stole the Mogwai.  Just a fantastic cherry on top of this loser sundae.  Of course, he gives the guy an ashtray for his troubles, which is apparently his highest selling product: 1 sale.

-Chorizy-E

Advertisements

Quernzy’s #108ing Holiday Gift Guide

As we get deep into the holiday season, you may be thinking “how can I stay in decent 108 form to be ready for next April?” or maybe “how do I teach the people I love about #108ing this holiday season?” Luckily, I have some shopping tips for you, since I’m a girl who loves to shop for myself and the 108 crew.

Quernzy and Chorizy-E’s Holiday Bar

Here it is 108ers: Your essential shopping list for proper #108ing. Outside of the baseball season, the holiday season is my favorite time for 108ing.

#108ing Starter Kit

We’ll start with a 108 Starter Kit because the name seems to fit. The 108 koozie is standard. It’s the easiest thing to bring with you anywhere. Representing at the game is key, but just think how prepared and professional you will look pulling a koozie out at a holiday party?!  Plus how great will you or your loved ones look in this hat?  Mustache not included.

Buy it here: #108ing Starter Kit

Tampon Flasks

Ladies, this is a gem of an Amazon find and they are perfect for games! Don’t worry, the security will not touch your tampons during their five-minute raid through every.single.corner.and.pocket of your purse. Allow me to digress into the #thatsBS corner because it happens every.single.game. One of these games I’ll be showing up with a purse filled with a box of regular tampons and nothing else. *Just* to see the reaction from security. And for my own entertainment.

Back to the tampon flasks – grab a delicious lemonade and add a couple shots of vodka from your tampon flasks. #yum

Buy it here: Tampon Flasks

Smirnoff Christmas Balls….of Vodka

I’m a sucker for holiday decorations and this is a genius holiday vodka promotion – a giant Xmas ornament filled with vodka. The bottle is pretty and I plan to re-use it next year. Like a Christmas decanter. So fun! You can find these in any liquor aisle.

Stocking Booze Bag

Next on the Xmas liquor-related gift list is this amazing stocking beverage holder.  I know it’s technically another flask, but this is not your normal flask.  You can fit a bottle of wine in this thing easily!

Buy it here: Stocking Booze Bag

Ornament Shot Glasses

And finally, for your holiday 108ing, *actual* ornaments that you can fill with your favorite beverage.  The 108ers will hit the short glasses every now and then, so what better way to do it during the holiday season.

Buy It here: Ornament Shot Glasses

Do you have more #108ing gift ideas?  Please hit up @quernzy and @fromthe108 with your favorites!

-Quernzy

#WhiteSox Analysis?? (Not really)

Good day friends, it’s your pal BeefLoaf, welcome in, pour yourself something to drink, take off those boots and lets sit by the tree and have a little chat, albeit an oration from me.  For me, one of the best things about writing for the Section 108 blog is that we can basically do anything in these virtual pages.  We aren’t bound to a specific theme.  We can go all ee cummings with the punctuation if we please.  We can broach topics far and wide and we can craft a post with ultimate freedom knowing we don’t have aspirations beyond scratching our own itch and entertaining the literally dozens of yous (this is Bridgeport) that click on our stuff.  With that being said, this post here takes a look at two parallel situations and how they were handled and leaves open questions as to why they were handled in such a way.  I’ll merely prepare the canvas, but I’ll need the Bob Ross’ of the world out there to give me some conclusions as I am not WOKE enough to know WHY?

Rick_Hahn

I’m critical, but supportive of one Rick Hahn, and have been since the dawn of the rebuild.  I appreciated the chutzpah it took to go down this path (obviously using suspension of disbelief to ignore that he was a big part of why they were in this mess), in this market, with this ownership group.  I think he was aggressive with seeking out trades that expedited the timeline of the next great White Sox teams.  That was the first 1.5 or so years of what us locals call “The Rebuild”, but since then we’ve seen lots of parts of the rebuild stall out and other moves or tactics begin to be put in play.  One that got WILD support from basically all of the fan base, were tree (this is Bridgeport) trades in which Hahn used International Amateur spending cap to acquire prospective high minors bullpen arms.  Mind you, when I say “spending cap”, I literally just mean, the rights to spend some money, not actually spending any money by the WhiteSox, so basically, these were free (sort of) acquisitions.   Each team is alotted a “pool” of money to spend each year on July 2nd international free agents (usually 16 year old kids primarily located in the Caribbean or South America, largest concentrations in the Dominican Republic and Venezuela).  These pools range from roughly $4M-$6M and teams can then sign players using those caps (but to sign players, they must use actual money, not the fake salary cap they are given, that is just a guideline).  The teams can also trade their pool money (again, not actual money, just the rights to spend your own additional money).  Now, one team can’t just accumulate all of everyone’s pool money, there are restrictions to how much a team can trade for, but you get the general idea.

2008_1_one_million_dollars_zimbabwe_currency_unc_banknote_note_money_bill_cash_1_lgw

Also, under the previous rules, which butted up against the two years I am going to detail, teams could exceed their spending limits, but they would be put in the penalty and required to have 2 consecutive years where they can not spend more than $300,000 on any individual player.  Our White Sox were in the box in 2017 and 2018 because they spent like a billion SpaceBucks on Luis Robert (which we fucking jumped for joy at them doing).  Several other teams were in the penalty these years with the White Sox and had sort of a similar marketplace in which to deal.  The specific team I am going to pick out is the San Diego Padres, primarily because they are in a similar rebuild position as the White Sox, they have a similarly GRAND minor league system (generally rated ahead of our White Sox), the two teams engaged in a trade in the not so recent past and they are stark opposites in this part of the business.

San-Diego-Padres-Fanfest-2017-20

As previously noted the WhiteSox chose to use a significant part of their International Spending cap in trades to other teams to acquire the following upper minors bullpen only arms.  Arms that needed a home (relatively quickly) on the 40 man roster.

Thyago Vieira

Ryan Burr

Caleb Frare

I cheered!  You cheered!  RICK HAHN HAS DONE IT AGAIN exclaimed twitter.  In those two years, the White Sox also used some of the cap (but they had to spend actual money for the signings) on a handful of signings (2017 and 2018 respectively)……

White Sox 2017

White Sox 2018

The White Sox signed a couple of players each season.  It appears they chose to focus using these resources on the bullpen arms (that we all loved when the trades were made and were exclaimed to be basically FREE) noted above.

Every time I find myself siding whole-heartedly with the majority, I get a little itchy and I feel I need to investigate the other side of the argument, the other side of the coin if you will.  Most times that I do this, I find nothing and I am pretty comfortable with my original position…..but not always.

8690360_orig

Now, let’s look at what AJ Preller and the San Diego Padres did faced with similar restrictions ($300k spending cap on individual players), what did they do…..

Padres 2017

Wow that’s a lot of signings….but that’s just 2017….here’s 2018.

Padres 2018

The Padres and AJ Preller took a different approach to the same problem, signing tons of International Talent, albeit none of the top, top talent because of the penalty.  As I said, I don’t have answers.  Although I do have plenty of questions.

Why would these teams take such different approaches?

Are the Padres much better set up to gamble on Int’l signings than to bring in older / almost major league ready relievers?

Do the White Sox feel a distinct advantage at bringing in almost major league ready bullpen arms?  If so, aren’t there lots of readily available such arms getting DFA’d on the regular to fill that void?

What is the expected value of what the Padres did vs what the White Sox did in a neutral setting?

Is the Fernando Tatis Jr trade a look into how AJ Preller builds up the Padres farm?  Do they just know more about these international kids than materially everyone else?

Do the White Sox not have the infrastructure set up in the Dominican Republic or the relationships and connections to do what the Padres did?

Which move is cheaper in the long run? Maybe the decisions are based on a monetary budget.

I don’t fucking know.  What I do know is that 2 of the top 5 farm systems in Major League baseball chose decidedly different paths for the same assignment and I am intrigued by it.  I’m so interested in different methods to solve the same problem (in this instance, win baseball games, particularly in the future).

DO YOU KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?  Hit me up on the Twitter Machine and tell me wtf is going on.

-BeefLoaf

What does a Bryce Harper contract look like?

With the off-season stove getting hot and lots of chatter linking the White Sox with more than a mild interest in Bryce Harper the question begs to be asked. What would a Bryce Harper contract look like?

ct-spt-white-sox-bryce-harper-scott-boras-20181109

I am by no means a contract expert, so feel free to take this for what you will. I personally think a Harper contract will be anywhere between 10 – 12 years with a value of $375 million. If you break it down a 10-year contract would have an Average Annual Value (AAV) of 37.5 million, whereas a 12-year deal would have an AAV of 31.5 million. To be honest the years and AAV are irrelevant for two reasons, one appearance and one business. Let me explain why.

MLB: Miami Marlins at Los Angeles Dodgers

We know that Scott Boras will want his client to have the biggest contract of all time. This contract regardless of 10 or 12 years accomplishes that. Just because he signs a long-term contract DOES NOT mean he will be around for the entire contract. This is where the most important element of the contract comes into play. An opt-out after the 3rd year. This is a critical element for the White Sox and even more so Harper. Why you ask. The White Sox answer is very simple. After three years the rebuild should be in the rear-view mirror with a wide-open competitive window and a farm system that will hopefully be supplementing the major league roster where needed. The Harper answer is actually very simple. I heard people speculating on MLB Radio and in all honesty, I probably blinded someone with the light bulb that went off over my head when I heard this. To get to the answer we must look at some of the expected events of 2021. As we know the Collective Bargaining Agreement (CBA) between the players union and ownership will expire. One of the critical elements of the CBA that will be a point of contention will be the luxury tax. The reason Harper will want an opt-out after year three is because if the Luxury Tax is altered, or abolished, he can go back on the market still in his prime and make even more money.

4917038d8bbd7fe362bed691690c7da4

This is why the years and total value of the contract are just ego pieces. The contract will be front loaded so that the first three years’ salary will be much more than the AAV.

cut

Does this mean the White Sox will sign Harper? I wish I knew the answer. But if you run the numbers with the way the team has managed their roster and expenses the last few years, they could sign him and still have a very comfortable payroll as well as Rick Hahn’s beloved payroll flexibility.

 

The hell with it. GET IT DONE!

-AlohaMr.Hand

The One Hitter – Luis Robert

Good evening, it’s your old pal BeefLoaf and this is The One Hitter, don’t forget to exhale.

st18-robert-04-8x10

With the Hot Stove ostensibly cooling off after the completion of the GM Meetings and narry a signing to be seen, we turn our attention to any little bit of beisbol that might catch our eyeballs.  The US vs Japan all-star games are going on, I literally saw 3 pitches before Bonita Steakie told me, “turn this off, baseball is boring!”  I did also happen to notice (via twitter) that the Arizona Fall League is going on and one White Sox prospect appears to be having quite a hoot down there.  Between crushing long, LONG home runs and stringing together a 14 game hitting streak, Luis Robert appears to be doing thangs down there in ‘Zona.  I’ve seen short videos of mammoth blasts and bursts of speed, it has been fun to catch little bits of Robert playing to a tree slash line of  .324/.367/.432 (that’s Batting Average / On-Base Percentage / Slugging Percentage).  The entire twitterverse appears to be head over heels in love with this version of Robert.  For a second, I was pretty thrilled too…..then, I was struck with a pang of anxiety as I struggled to remember another former Arizona Fall League legend draped in White Sox clothing.

engel

Ooooooh, Yea……..this guy right here, remember him?  He almost won the Gold Glove this year.  His major league bat (tree slash line again) of .235/.279/.336 probably cost him that Gold Glove (everyone knows Gold Gloves are partially won with hitting).  Well, back in 2015, this fine fella hit hisself a .403/.523/.642 line in that same old Arizona Fall League.  Look, don’t panic, but there is some evidence that the Arizona Fall League might not be the stiffest competition in the land.  I’m not a prospect hound, but someone who is, and someone who has previously had a near bromancish love affair with Robert had this to say about viewing Robert’s AFL performance.

Robert

Look, let’s all take a step back, whether it be us fans getting tight pants over long bombs or Mr. Longenhagen downgrading his bromance over something he might have seen in a 19 game sample and focus on Robert being healthy and playing everyday to get the necessary reps to start to chip into his potential.  It’s gonna take TIIIIIIIIME..

images

…..so for those of yous (this is Bridgeport) that had him in the 2020 Opening Day lineup, lets pump the brakes and just enjoy the ride with Robert, if all goes right, he’ll be the cherry on top, the prospect that brings it all home and helps them win their first pennant in nearly 2 decades.

-BeefLoaf

2018 Giveaway Rankings / 2019 SoxFest Confirmed & Speculation

The Sox just announced the 2019 SoxFest bobblehead today, and it’s a beauty. DeWayne Wise, “The Catch”. Just admire it here.

46058284_10216446581497832_6572641263986671616_n

So, I, MSS, decided to break down the best giveaways from the 2018 season. These are my rankings, and mine alone, as 75% of the 108 could really give a shit about getting to a game early to get a giveaway. I am including the special ticket giveaway for the bobbleheads too, as I really like those. So let’s get started!

Bobbleheads

In 2018, we saw some good bobbleheads. Started off with a SoxFest talking Ken “Hawk” Harrelson in his blue mod suit and cowboy hat. A mashup of some great outfits worn by “The Hawk”. But the Sox weren’t done, they dropped a Hawk Solo to start the bobblehead season off. Followed that with a HOF Jim Thome, IronMan and Tim Anderson in his ’83 uni. The Sox Charity bobblehead was a A.J. Pierzinski featuring fuzzy hair! Special ticket giveaways included a Tommy Hawk, Santa Claus and a Southpaw Grateful Dead statue.

Starting off with that Hawk really worked against the Sox in my view. That bobble talks and looks awesome. So here is my top 3 –

1.SoxFest Hawk

AR-171109302

2.Tim Anderson

s-l500

3.Tommy Hawk

raw

I would put the Santa next, as it was pretty original. We got repeats with Thome and AJ, and the IronMan and Southpaw were recycles from other teams. I wasn’t impressed with them. The Hawk Solo was lame, IMO, but it was a forced movie tie in, so not their fault. It WAS rather punny.

The rest of these giveaways will fight each other to become the 2018 Giveaway Champion.

Shirts / Jersey / Pullover

The White Sox continued to give away a free t-shirt to the first 10k people on Thursdays, which is always nice. I don’t remember all those, but some highlights include – CTA 35th & Sox, Black Out, Bill Melton, Ricky’s Boys Don’t Quit, as well as many others. My fave was the Celebration Yolmer, and the concept of the Hawk shirt was really awesome, but it was made in China with an odd method of printing so it looks so weird. They had a nice (and from I could tell, roomy) ’83 road jersey they gave away, which kinda made up for the straight recycled soccer jersey (bleh). The 1/4 zip up was really nice too, and it is an item that my wife wears all the time. A welcomed change of pace from the regular stuff.

Hats

The Sox gave away 4 hats this year at the gate. It seemed like a bunch, which is fine and all, but they don’t fit my big melon. The winter hat was a beanie which I wore with pride! It was really nice. As was the sporty grey hat they gave away too. Those two were really good. They tried to do a snapback, which most folks loved, but it was kinda cheap looking for me. But again, it was a solid effort. I wasn’t a fan of the hawaiian hat either, but folks loved it, so kudos to Brooks and staff.

Oddball Shit

Last year it was the Hawk Alarm Clock. In 2018, it was the onesie. Yep, an adult onesie was easily the oddest thing that the Sox gave away this year. Which was awesome if you are normal sized. I know Chorizy cuddles up in one while he reads Baseball Prospectus in front of a warm fire. The Hawk Harrelson nesting dolls were way cool too. The ’93 pennant was not that cool. I would have loved to have seen a 90’s character drawing of the team, but alas it was not in the cards. The 90’s had some awesome sports items, why not bring those back? Remember the wicked posters back in the day? Jim McMahon chawing a corn cob pipe declaring he would return? Motherfucker was full door size. Or even the Chicago Vice poster with Walter Payton? Holding a fucking UZI? I mean goddamn. We need, we fucking demand, that we get a Palka as the Hulk poster next year. Maybe a Palka as Hulk for the Marvel tie in. Just fucking do it.

2018 Giveaway Champion Tier – NEXT 4

5. Adult Onesie – It was unique enough to win 5th place.

adultOnes

4. 1/4 Zip Pullover – Following up the full zip hoodie last year was gonna be tough. The Sox aced this test my friends.

Chicago-White-Sox-Pullover-4-21-2017

3. Silver Hat – Unique and doesn’t even look like a giveaway. People would pay money for it. Easy.

Chicago-White-Sox-Cap-6-23-2018

2. Winter Beanie – Hip and cool plus it’s big enough for all head sizes. A quality item that all fans can enjoy.

s-l1600-1

2018 CHAMPION

1. 1983 Road Jersey – It was a great idea to bring back this jersey that about everyone loved. Kudos to the Sox for not making it white, it’s fucking sharp as a grey and is really for the fans.

s-l1600

2019 Speculation

So what can they do to have a great 2019? 2019 will be the 60th Anniversary of the 1959 Go Go White Sox. ‘Member those guys? Had some wicked ass jerseys and hats. Let’s bring those back. Let’s also make a goddamn Luis Aparicio bobblehead. If not that, the dual Fox / Aparicio statue will be just fine. Bobbles “Uncle Rico” Jim would blow his load Randy Marsh style when he get’s that email. That guy REALLY wants the rest of the statues.

nellie-fox-and-luis-aparicio

If we are gonna stick with some of the same old theme nights, Star Wars, Marvel Super Hero Night, Beatles Night, Grateful Dead Night, Bulls and Hawks, let’s switch it up. I’d be bobble heavy on any of those nights as I love bobbles, but here are a few different ideas.

For the Beatles, the guys played one of their few US shows AT COMISKEY PARK. How have the Sox not tapped that resource? I’d love a replica stadium with the stage on the field that can play a song. Or a t-shirt with the ticket stub on it. A mini 4 person bobble would be best, but we can work up to that.

c65t

I’d also love to see Southpaw as a Jerry Bear for Dead night. Or even a black and silver Jerry Bear. The Dead items have been solid so far, so I believe in you Sox. Just don’t do a dumb hat.

Marvel is simple, Palka. That’s it, make him Hulk. The bobble can even talk with Jason saying “Palka Smash!” He’s got a bunch in the tank, so let’s just honor him now.

Star Wars, I’d retire that shit to be honest. Give it a year or two to breathe. When Kopech is our ace, make him a Jedi.

Let’s keep it fresh for 2019 and float some new stuff out there White Sox. The fans will love it and it will distract us if we lose another 100 games.

Pissed? Have an idea? Tweet it at me @mysoxsummer

-MSS

PS – On Nov 30th we have a benefit trivia night in honor of our friend who passed this year. Tickets are available here , so get a team together and buy some tickets. It’s $60 a person but that INCLUDES beer, wine and cocktails. You can do some #108ING on the cheap. And if you are smart, you’ll win fantastic prizes.

PPS – On Dec 21st we’ll be hosting the 1st stop of the #108ING Tour with our good buddies SoxMachine. It’s free as fuck and will be at Lo Rez Brewing. It’s Festivus themed so bring that anger and let lose while drinking unique craft beers in Pilsen. We’ll have swag to giveaway and for purchase. Bring your crew and get fucked up with us.

PPPS – ALSO, Black Friday is upon us and YES we will have a deal on our merch site. Keep an eye on our Twitter for a code that will unlock the special of the day! If we have any left, they will be available on Cyber Monday too! But go there today and check out our merch. We got stuff for a hard to buy for hard drinking White Sox fan. Orders of $50 or more, get a free gift. You spend $100 (or close to it) you get several free gifts. The hoodies keep ya nice and toasty. They are also dope AF.