The One Hitter – Luis Robert

Good evening, it’s your old pal BeefLoaf and this is The One Hitter, don’t forget to exhale.

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With the Hot Stove ostensibly cooling off after the completion of the GM Meetings and narry a signing to be seen, we turn our attention to any little bit of beisbol that might catch our eyeballs.  The US vs Japan all-star games are going on, I literally saw 3 pitches before Bonita Steakie told me, “turn this off, baseball is boring!”  I did also happen to notice (via twitter) that the Arizona Fall League is going on and one White Sox prospect appears to be having quite a hoot down there.  Between crushing long, LONG home runs and stringing together a 14 game hitting streak, Luis Robert appears to be doing thangs down there in ‘Zona.  I’ve seen short videos of mammoth blasts and bursts of speed, it has been fun to catch little bits of Robert playing to a tree slash line of  .324/.367/.432 (that’s Batting Average / On-Base Percentage / Slugging Percentage).  The entire twitterverse appears to be head over heels in love with this version of Robert.  For a second, I was pretty thrilled too…..then, I was struck with a pang of anxiety as I struggled to remember another former Arizona Fall League legend draped in White Sox clothing.

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Ooooooh, Yea……..this guy right here, remember him?  He almost won the Gold Glove this year.  His major league bat (tree slash line again) of .235/.279/.336 probably cost him that Gold Glove (everyone knows Gold Gloves are partially won with hitting).  Well, back in 2015, this fine fella hit hisself a .403/.523/.642 line in that same old Arizona Fall League.  Look, don’t panic, but there is some evidence that the Arizona Fall League might not be the stiffest competition in the land.  I’m not a prospect hound, but someone who is, and someone who has previously had a near bromancish love affair with Robert had this to say about viewing Robert’s AFL performance.

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Look, let’s all take a step back, whether it be us fans getting tight pants over long bombs or Mr. Longenhagen downgrading his bromance over something he might have seen in a 19 game sample and focus on Robert being healthy and playing everyday to get the necessary reps to start to chip into his potential.  It’s gonna take TIIIIIIIIME..

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…..so for those of yous (this is Bridgeport) that had him in the 2020 Opening Day lineup, lets pump the brakes and just enjoy the ride with Robert, if all goes right, he’ll be the cherry on top, the prospect that brings it all home and helps them win their first pennant in nearly 2 decades.

-BeefLoaf
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2018 Giveaway Rankings / 2019 SoxFest Confirmed & Speculation

The Sox just announced the 2019 SoxFest bobblehead today, and it’s a beauty. DeWayne Wise, “The Catch”. Just admire it here.

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So, I, MSS, decided to break down the best giveaways from the 2018 season. These are my rankings, and mine alone, as 75% of the 108 could really give a shit about getting to a game early to get a giveaway. I am including the special ticket giveaway for the bobbleheads too, as I really like those. So let’s get started!

Bobbleheads

In 2018, we saw some good bobbleheads. Started off with a SoxFest talking Ken “Hawk” Harrelson in his blue mod suit and cowboy hat. A mashup of some great outfits worn by “The Hawk”. But the Sox weren’t done, they dropped a Hawk Solo to start the bobblehead season off. Followed that with a HOF Jim Thome, IronMan and Tim Anderson in his ’83 uni. The Sox Charity bobblehead was a A.J. Pierzinski featuring fuzzy hair! Special ticket giveaways included a Tommy Hawk, Santa Claus and a Southpaw Grateful Dead statue.

Starting off with that Hawk really worked against the Sox in my view. That bobble talks and looks awesome. So here is my top 3 –

1.SoxFest Hawk

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2.Tim Anderson

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3.Tommy Hawk

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I would put the Santa next, as it was pretty original. We got repeats with Thome and AJ, and the IronMan and Southpaw were recycles from other teams. I wasn’t impressed with them. The Hawk Solo was lame, IMO, but it was a forced movie tie in, so not their fault. It WAS rather punny.

The rest of these giveaways will fight each other to become the 2018 Giveaway Champion.

Shirts / Jersey / Pullover

The White Sox continued to give away a free t-shirt to the first 10k people on Thursdays, which is always nice. I don’t remember all those, but some highlights include – CTA 35th & Sox, Black Out, Bill Melton, Ricky’s Boys Don’t Quit, as well as many others. My fave was the Celebration Yolmer, and the concept of the Hawk shirt was really awesome, but it was made in China with an odd method of printing so it looks so weird. They had a nice (and from I could tell, roomy) ’83 road jersey they gave away, which kinda made up for the straight recycled soccer jersey (bleh). The 1/4 zip up was really nice too, and it is an item that my wife wears all the time. A welcomed change of pace from the regular stuff.

Hats

The Sox gave away 4 hats this year at the gate. It seemed like a bunch, which is fine and all, but they don’t fit my big melon. The winter hat was a beanie which I wore with pride! It was really nice. As was the sporty grey hat they gave away too. Those two were really good. They tried to do a snapback, which most folks loved, but it was kinda cheap looking for me. But again, it was a solid effort. I wasn’t a fan of the hawaiian hat either, but folks loved it, so kudos to Brooks and staff.

Oddball Shit

Last year it was the Hawk Alarm Clock. In 2018, it was the onesie. Yep, an adult onesie was easily the oddest thing that the Sox gave away this year. Which was awesome if you are normal sized. I know Chorizy cuddles up in one while he reads Baseball Prospectus in front of a warm fire. The Hawk Harrelson nesting dolls were way cool too. The ’93 pennant was not that cool. I would have loved to have seen a 90’s character drawing of the team, but alas it was not in the cards. The 90’s had some awesome sports items, why not bring those back? Remember the wicked posters back in the day? Jim McMahon chawing a corn cob pipe declaring he would return? Motherfucker was full door size. Or even the Chicago Vice poster with Walter Payton? Holding a fucking UZI? I mean goddamn. We need, we fucking demand, that we get a Palka as the Hulk poster next year. Maybe a Palka as Hulk for the Marvel tie in. Just fucking do it.

2018 Giveaway Champion Tier – NEXT 4

5. Adult Onesie – It was unique enough to win 5th place.

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4. 1/4 Zip Pullover – Following up the full zip hoodie last year was gonna be tough. The Sox aced this test my friends.

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3. Silver Hat – Unique and doesn’t even look like a giveaway. People would pay money for it. Easy.

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2. Winter Beanie – Hip and cool plus it’s big enough for all head sizes. A quality item that all fans can enjoy.

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2018 CHAMPION

1. 1983 Road Jersey – It was a great idea to bring back this jersey that about everyone loved. Kudos to the Sox for not making it white, it’s fucking sharp as a grey and is really for the fans.

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2019 Speculation

So what can they do to have a great 2019? 2019 will be the 60th Anniversary of the 1959 Go Go White Sox. ‘Member those guys? Had some wicked ass jerseys and hats. Let’s bring those back. Let’s also make a goddamn Luis Aparicio bobblehead. If not that, the dual Fox / Aparicio statue will be just fine. Bobbles “Uncle Rico” Jim would blow his load Randy Marsh style when he get’s that email. That guy REALLY wants the rest of the statues.

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If we are gonna stick with some of the same old theme nights, Star Wars, Marvel Super Hero Night, Beatles Night, Grateful Dead Night, Bulls and Hawks, let’s switch it up. I’d be bobble heavy on any of those nights as I love bobbles, but here are a few different ideas.

For the Beatles, the guys played one of their few US shows AT COMISKEY PARK. How have the Sox not tapped that resource? I’d love a replica stadium with the stage on the field that can play a song. Or a t-shirt with the ticket stub on it. A mini 4 person bobble would be best, but we can work up to that.

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I’d also love to see Southpaw as a Jerry Bear for Dead night. Or even a black and silver Jerry Bear. The Dead items have been solid so far, so I believe in you Sox. Just don’t do a dumb hat.

Marvel is simple, Palka. That’s it, make him Hulk. The bobble can even talk with Jason saying “Palka Smash!” He’s got a bunch in the tank, so let’s just honor him now.

Star Wars, I’d retire that shit to be honest. Give it a year or two to breathe. When Kopech is our ace, make him a Jedi.

Let’s keep it fresh for 2019 and float some new stuff out there White Sox. The fans will love it and it will distract us if we lose another 100 games.

Pissed? Have an idea? Tweet it at me @mysoxsummer

-MSS

PS – On Nov 30th we have a benefit trivia night in honor of our friend who passed this year. Tickets are available here , so get a team together and buy some tickets. It’s $60 a person but that INCLUDES beer, wine and cocktails. You can do some #108ING on the cheap. And if you are smart, you’ll win fantastic prizes.

PPS – On Dec 21st we’ll be hosting the 1st stop of the #108ING Tour with our good buddies SoxMachine. It’s free as fuck and will be at Lo Rez Brewing. It’s Festivus themed so bring that anger and let lose while drinking unique craft beers in Pilsen. We’ll have swag to giveaway and for purchase. Bring your crew and get fucked up with us.

PPPS – ALSO, Black Friday is upon us and YES we will have a deal on our merch site. Keep an eye on our Twitter for a code that will unlock the special of the day! If we have any left, they will be available on Cyber Monday too! But go there today and check out our merch. We got stuff for a hard to buy for hard drinking White Sox fan. Orders of $50 or more, get a free gift. You spend $100 (or close to it) you get several free gifts. The hoodies keep ya nice and toasty. They are also dope AF.

What if Cleveland trades Corey Kluber?

Good day friends, it’s your old pal BeefLoaf and I figured I would write about something that caused many of you great excitement and me…..well, not so much excitement.  WARNING the tweet below may cause Priapism.  Proceed with caution!

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Anywho, Buster Olney, take it from here…..

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The big take away here is that the Cleveland Baseball Club would like to pare down their payroll some and see trading Corey Kluber (or others) as at least part of that grand plan.  I’m not going to cry poor for the billionaire owners in question, if they don’t want to spend on their team, let’s leave it as their discretion, not fan shaming the fine people of Cleveland.  This is a different tangent, but how about teams just say, “LOOK, we want to make more operating income than this, so we aren’t going to spend, we have the means to spend as much as we want on things because we are Billionaires, but we don’t give a fuck about spending more on this because it isn’t generating the operating income we would like.”  Honesty is the best quality….anywho.  Before we get to what a Kluber deal might look like in the current climate, let’s take a look at what losing Kluber might mean to the team on Lake Erie.

Last year’s standings….provided by FanGraphs

AL Central

PythagPat ~ Record based on run differential, ie, if you smoothed out all the runs you scored and gave up, what would your record look like.  Ie, the bigger the positive differential, the better the team.

BaseRuns ~ Record based on hypothetical run differential, based on underlying statistics, but same idea as Pythag, just it is using hypothetical runs.

Cleveland was fucking good….actually, they were fucking better than we even realize when you look at these other angles of measuring the season long performance.  In other words, without any adjustments to the teams in the AL Central, they are back to being gigantic favorites to win the 2019 division.  They are loaded on the pitching side and they have two young studs in the middle of the diamond in Francisco Lindor and Jose Ramirez.  They have an excellent core.

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Corey Kluber Steamer projection for 2019 is 4.8 fWAR, lets just round that shit to 5 WINS.   5 less wins on the 2018 Tribe leave them with only 86 wins,…..seemingly more catchable than before (although by those other measures of performance, they are still FAR and AWAY the best team in the division)……….but WAIT!!!  This assumes that Kluber is replaced by some jamoch that has no business pitching in the major leagues.  Someone better than 2018 Lucas Giolito albeit, but still someone that isn’t good.  Well, that’s not likely to happen, in fact, what is more likely to happen is that some form of Danny Salazar will get first crack at that job, presuming health.  I think yous (this is Bridgeport) remember Danny Salazar, he was a pretty decent pitcher for the Tribe back in 2016 / 2015.  They also have their #1 prospect Tristan McKenzie who doesn’t seem very far from the majors either.  In other words, losing Kluber would be a BIG DEAL for most teams, but when you play in the LOL AL Central and you have the depth that Cleveland has, you aren’t mere mortals, you are a team that is ready to move on such an odd mission.

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Somehow, we keep losing to Cleveland

Let’s assume from all of this though, that the 2019 Cleveland squad is 5 games worse than expected, lets assume EVERYTHING goes wrong.  This would require a lot of work (and luck) by our White Sox to catch up.  Indeed, I couldn’t agree more (I know they let Michael Brantley walk in free agency, shhhh, stay on point), 2019 still seems like a pipe dream even with significant moves.  You at home are probably saying, “Beef, I know, but 2020 is supposed to be different, we’ll have Kopech and Cease and the wave of prospects behind them.”  Oh yea, I forgot, it isn’t just like the Tribe are tossing Corey Kluber out, they actually get stuff back for him when they trade him.  Kluber is owed $46.5M through 2021 (with cheap buy outs in 2020 and 2021 if disaster strikes and he gets injured), so basically he’s in mostly everyone’s price range.   Also bad news is that the Braves and Yankees are both flush with prospects and are dying for the services of a Corey Kluber type hurler.  Imagine a deal headed by Frazier and/or Andujar, or Florial from the Yankees or Austin Riley or Mike Soroka from the Braves…..so what I’m tryna say is that while 2019 might get a little easier for our boys (albeit the White Sox ain’t ready for that shit yet), 2020 and 2021 are going to get harder….possibly much harder.

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I guess we’ll wait and see, but while some of you are celebrating this Cleveland “re-tooling”, I’m seriously concerned.  Well, maybe I’ll just drown my sorrows in some McRibs and call it a day.

-BeefLoaf 

The 5 – What if the White Sox do nothing?

I think most of the White Sox fandom believes the White Sox will do some spending this offseason.  However, let’s imagine a scenario where they do nothing in free agency.  More than that, what if they do nothing to add new players to the MLB roster?  What would you want to see happen?  Let me lay out what I’d like to see on what could be the lowest payroll since the Black Sox.

Trade for some prospects

If they don’t add to the team, it’s gonna be bad.  It’s gonna be a team that does not require Jose Abreu‘s services.  So let’s move him to a team that will send back prospects and take on his contract.  I think the Astros could be a fit, assuming they don’t bring back Marwin and want to use Gurriel in that role.  It’s possible they see Tyler White as the guy, but seeing an opportunity to add Abreu at 1b would be something they would not pass up.  In other words, Tyler can go play in Japan with Dayan Viciedo if they have a chance to land Abreu.

Change up third base

I feel, and I think most of us do, Yolmer is not a full time third basemen.  What I would like to see, if nothing is added from free agency, is Jose Rondon get a chance at third.  It is possible that he has the power to stay at third.  I am less concerned with the glove, that seems to play.  But what if we have Jose Ramirez light in Jose Rondon, does that solve the third base problem and allow spending elsewhere in 2019?  We’d still get all the Yolmer antics, but with like 20-25 HR from our third baseman.

The fifth starter

In this scenario, you pretty much know the first four in the rotation: Carlos Rodon, Reynaldo Lopez, Lucas Giolito, and Dylan Covey.  But who fills that fifth spot?  I am sure that Fulmer and other bad pitchers will get a chance to compete during Spring Training.  However, the guy that I’d like to see separate himself from the pack and take that role is Spencer Adams.  I don’t want to rush Cease or Dunning or Hansen to the rotation, so someone almost unexpected has to take this role.  Spencer Adams seems to be that guy.  DO YOU MISS JAMES SHIELDS YET?!

Clear out right field

There are a bunch of outfielders floating around in the system that are probably AAAA guys.  So first off, DFA Avisail Garcia and shed that $8M.  Next, commit to Daniel Palka at DH with minimal days in the OF.  Use 2019 to cycle through as many different outfielders as possible at as many spots as possible.  Nicky D, Cordell,  Tilson,  Engel, Leury, Basabe, Adolfo, and of course Eloy are all on the 40 man roster.  Let’s figure this shit out!

The bullpen

This is something I have discussed with ‘Loaf.  We have a stupid amount of relievers that have been acquired via trades by Rick Hahn.  Basically, if you have a minor league bullpen arm that is going to be Rule 5 eligible, just give Hahn a ring and he’ll give you something for that player.  Hahn is like the baseball card collector that grabs up as many commons as possible in hopes that one of these guys will become a star and it will all be worth it, but then realizes he’s living in a studio apartment and doesn’t have room for 25,000 baseball cards.  You have to sort out which of these arms is a real arm and build a bullpen for the future.  So cycle all of the guys on the 40-man throughout the 2019 season and much like RF, figure this shit out!

I hope, at this point, you are as depressed as I am looking at the bull flop team we would have if nothing is done in free agency.  But before you write “Brooks was here” on that ceiling beam, take a moment and realize that this should not happen.  Hahn, Kenny, and Jerry need to spend some money so all of the above is not our reality in 2019.

-Chorizy-E

The 108 Interview Series – Laurence Holmes

I recently got the opportunity to ask a few of our favorite questions to our favorite person on the radio.  And even though he’s down on my guy James Shields and I want to know a ton more about this Marquis Grissom incident, this is a great interview.  If you’re not familiar with Laurence Holmes, he’s the host of the Laurence Holmes Show on 670 the Score and he also has a fantastic podcast called House of L.  You should check out both, but as a Sox fan, I would definitely recommend checking out the Benetti episode of the podcast.  If you’re a fan of sports radio in general, the George Ofman episode is basically a history of Chicago sports radio.  I can go on for days about Laurence, but why not just check out his answers to our questions:

Likes

Favorite game that you were at? Blackout Game.

Favorite all-time player that does not have a statue on the concourse? Jermaine Dye.

Favorite drink and dinner at the park? I don’t really drink that often. Churros, street tacos, charred premium dog.

Favorite place to sit at Sox Park? Gold Club.

Favorite Sox uniform? Black Tops, Pinstripe Pant.

Favorite Sox giveaway? Hawk Alarm Clock.

Favorite Sox theme night? House Music Night.

Dislikes

What irks you the most about White Sox fans? Them worrying about what the Cubs are doing, when it isn’t a head-to-head series.

What is the worst part of being a Sox fan? Having to defend the South Side of Chicago to people who’ve never spent any time there.

Worst part of the game day experience? The lines on $1 dog day.

What really grinds your gears? Adult autograph seekers.

Least favorite White Sox player of all time? James Shields (although, professionally, he was great to deal with).

Worst opposing fans? Red Sox fans.

Game Day

Most memorable experience as a White Sox fan? Being on the World Series parade bus, turning down King Drive at 35th and seeing school children waving white socks at the parade as it went by. I choke up thinking about it every time.

Ballpark experience, how could it be better? I’ve never really had an issue that’s worthy of speaking of. I always walk away having had a great time.

Best Sox Park hack? Take the Green Line. Less crowded from downtown.

What brings you back for every game? I love baseball and Sox fans are lucky to have such a great park.

Feelings on the wave? Live your life, but I’m not participating.

Which gate is your favorite to enter the park from? 5. I like walking up the ramp and seeing the skyline.

How early do you get to games? If I’m working, 3:30 hours before the game. 10 minutes before first pitch if I’m just being a fan.

What do you bring to games? Whichever cap I feel like sporting that day.

How many games do you go to each year? 20-30.

Section 108 Questions

What is your favorite baseball word? “Filthy”

What is your least favorite baseball word? “unwritten rules”

What gets you excited about the White Sox?  The attempt at a full-fledged rebuild.

What makes you sad about the White Sox? All the injuries that have happened to the prospects.

What sound or noise at the ballpark do you love? Pop of the catcher’s mitt in the bullpen.

What sound or noise at the ballpark do you hate? The “make noise” thing.

What is your favorite Hawkism? Get on back there.

The Mets have Thor, what superhero or superheroes do the Sox have? Yolmer is kind of like Rocket Raccoon…

What comic book character would be your #1 pick as a baseball player? Captain America.

What comic book movie would you remake? Green Lantern.

What comic book character deserves a movie that has not yet had one? Black Adam.

Which two guys from your A Team would you pick to go against the 108ers in 3 on 3 basketball (we got a lot of girth)? Tony Gill & Melissa Rokaitis

Gimme an “Uncle Rico” moment from your sports playing past.  I once pitched 5 2/3 of relief in the first game of a doubleheader (we were getting blown out) against Northwestern. My curve ball got more effective as my arm tired out and I started the 2nd game because I was having success. I struck out 7. Back then I could throw 80 mph. I was a catcher. I couldn’t lift my arm for a week after that.

You vs Siera Santos in a hot dog eating contest..What is the line? Who wins? I got Crohn’s disease. No eating contests for me.

The White Sox want to add a doughnut stand in the park, what local establishment should it be? Huck Finn. It makes too much sense.

Favorite cut of steak? Prepared? Filet. Medium Well.

You seem to be comfortable in all forms of media: radio, tv, pod, social media. Is there any type of media you dislike? Nope.

Mitch walks in and says you have to take on a co-host, but it can be anyone you want. Who are you on the air with the next day? Goff.

You seem to work hard to get your producers involved with your on air show (Herb, Joe O, etc) with great success over time, how are you able to do that and why is that important to you? The show is loosely based on what Dan Patrick and Dan LeBatard are doing. Yeah, I’m the center of it, but I work with a lot of talented people. I think it’s important to let them shine. My job is to help them get to the next place, whether it’s another time slot as a producer or helping them develop their on-air style. I believe in the theory of “lift as you climb.”

When should we expect the release of the other 2 hours of the Jason Goff interview we all know is out there? It’s my highest rated episode of the podcast. Why would I horde extra sound?

What is your greatest fear about the “rebuild”? That injuries will derail the vision.

What is there about this team that excites you the most? Not lot to be excited about right now. Just want to see what their approach is to the offseason, with free agency and how they’re managing prospect development.

Give us a #HotTake about the rebuild. I don’t do #HotTake.

What was your go-to DePaul bar? I think State has really good food.

Would you rather see a DePaul football program or Demon Dogs reopen?  DePaul having a football team would raise my salary as a professor, so that…

What is your favorite alcoholic drink? Be specific and feel free to go with more than one if you need to. My wife was a bartender for 20 years. She makes a killer margarita on the rocks with kosher salt on the rim.

You’re coming to a FromThe108 tailgate, other than Herb Lawrence, what are you bringing? Whatever you guys need me to bring.

Best #108ing story (that you can tell us) I’m pretty boring. Other than Jonathon Hood and I relentlessly mocking Marquis Grissom, I got nothing.

Who do you hate more Jim Belushi or John Cusack? Belushi.

Happy Ending

What other Chicago teams do you enjoy? All of them, but I’m only emotionally attached to DePaul.

Favorite Chicago sports history moment? Jackie Robinson breaking the color barrier.

Favorite all-time Sox broadcaster? Jason Benetti.

Any stories about running into or meeting White Sox players? Other Chicago athletes? I convinced Charles Tillman to run the Shamrock Shuffle. He beat me by 25 minutes without training.

Favorite band? The Roots.

What is your favorite song? “As” by Stevie Wonder

Favorite TV Show (or Netflix or HBO or whatever)? Star Trek: Next Generation.

Do you remember your first Sox game? Nope. They all blend together from when I was kid.

What player had the greatest impact on you? Paul Konerko. Best interview in town.

What was the happiest day watching the Sox? The end of game 3 of the 2005 World Series. I finally felt like they were going to win.

What was the saddest day watching the Sox? End of the 2012 season. They had gotten the magic number down to 11 and then collapsed.

If you could live in any other time, when might that be? There’s not really a time in the past where things get easier for people of color. I’d be interested in checking out the future as long as I had the choice to come back to now.

If you could have dinner with five White Sox players/broadcasters, past and present, who would they be? Not to brag, but I’ve had a meal with: Hawk, Stone, DJ, Ed, and Benetti, so I’m pretty much covered.

If you could change one thing in your past, what might that be? I would’ve gone to Law School.

What are you most proud of? Being the GOAT of uncles and teaching my students.

How would you like to be remembered? As someone who worked hard and was a great teammate.

What is the one thing about you few people know? I’m uncomfortable in crowds.

What do you dislike most about yourself? I don’t say no enough.

What do you dislike most in others? Being inauthentic.

What were your best/worst subjects in school? I have a degree in History. I’ve always hated math.

What do you like doing in your spare time? Strangely enough, watching sports.

Who is your celebrity crush? J-Lo.

What is your favorite movie? Training Day.

What is your favorite baseball movie? Sugar.

What is your biggest/weirdest fear? Failure.

What would be your one super power? Physical regeneration.

What would you change your name to? I love my name.

What pet would you love to have? I don’t have time to take care of a pet properly.

What is your one biggest pet peeve? Talent that isn’t matched by drive.

What is your one annoying habit? Forgetting where I put my keys.

What would be a good theme song for your life? “Til I Collapse” by Eminem

What ballpark would you like to visit? Dodger Stadium.

BeefLoaf steals a question from SoxMachine

 

Good day friends, it’s your old pal BeefLoaf, today, I’m bringing to you (with permission) what I thought to be one of the more interesting questions that I have heard from fans in a long time (save for the gems that get sent to us on a regular basis for the #SundaySoak and our other videos).  Twitter user Jim Kane tweeted in a #POSox question to the boys at the SoxMachine during the September 17th podcast “Lack of Clarity” that I just thought was something the 108ers are uniquely qualified to answer.  The question is below….

Jim Kane

 

Jim Margalus, the Final Boss of the SoxMachine pirate ship, had some answers for this question, listen here at the 1:02:57 mark…..but, to summarize

Move Section 108 to an area where we can be seen more by the camera

White Sox organization encourage fans to bring in instruments / implements of noise conduction

Foreign baseball, either in southeast asia or in the caribbean have all of these elements of additional sound and fan participation, so why not the White Sox?

Both Oakland (RF as well) and Miami have sections of the ballpark where incessant noise-making is encouraged

It is rare that the 108ers are uniquely qualified to answer any sort of question or have any sort of “expertise” on a subject other than drinking and falling down.  A few notes before we get into possible ideas or solutions for this…the two following things suck terribly and aren’t up for consideration.

MSS

The Wave – Look, if you were on the West Coast 25 years ago, the Wave was probably a pretty cool thing.  It probably felt organic and fresh and like you started some revolution to get the entire ballpark to do something almost involuntarily that you started, but its tired now and it lacks originality.  If the Wave was a local tradition and stayed that way, cool, but you realize it is mass produced garbage these days.  Someone, possibly multiple someones will come at me and say, quit being a Scrooge, the Wave is fun, get over yourself.  If the Wave is “fun” for you, I suggest digging in deep on yourself and figure out why this is appealing to you and why you can’t find some other things to gobble up the fun quotient in your life.

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The Woo – This actually had some potential, but nah……Ric Flair’s 40 year old Wrestling schtick has recently made its way to White Sox park (possibly other parks, I have no clue), but it went from kinda fun to incredibly fucking annoying in 2.7 seconds.  I think materially, the problem with the Woo is……a) It isn’t done for anything specific, its almost like you are listening to some canine mating call that is just permeating your viewing experience.  It isn’t triggered by a big strike out or a bases clearing double or something like that, some in-game exciting achievement, its just randomly howled across the mostly empty White Sox park making us look even more embarrassing (is that possible?) than we already were b) It isn’t original.  In fact there are so many people / places copying this in a variety of ways that by NOT imitating Ric Flair, you are counterculture.

I know what you are thinking, hey Beef, when are you going to get to the suggestions or ideas….yea, yea, we are getting there.  One other thing of note, there is an old tradition that goes back I think as far as the Winning Ugly days…….

That shit used to be so much fun when an opposing pitcher was junked to sing that, but alas, the smaller crowds and lack of significance of any individual game in a current White Sox season other than “securing a good draft position” makes a once fun tradition slide to the background. Besides, that tradition is primarily being propped up by the team.  We are looking for something “organic” and fan founded…..I got ideas.  Remember, these are just spitballin’, but all are possibilities in the lexicon of #WhiteSox fandom these days.  Everything is currently up for grabs including the media, which I’ll touch on in a later piece, so although most of these are probably never going to take hold, maybe some of them will give birth to something else cool that we’ll all be doing at games when the White Sox start their competitive window (whispers *Whenever that is*).

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The Juan Uribe – It’s Wednesday, which is $1 hot dog day, one of the finest promotions the White Sox have held in the last half decade.  Nearly everyone in the ballpark has acquired a $1 tube of fat and nitrates, which puts us in the perfect position for executing the Juan Uribe.  A big at-bat occurs for the White Sox (obviously before the 8th inning because White Sox concessions disappear after the 7th like a travelling carnie show trying to get out of town before you realize the shell game was rigged), anywho, Daniel Palka steps to the plate with the White Sox down 1 in the 5th with 2 on and 2 out.  The crowd unsheaths their $1 tube of magic and waves that bunless wonder in the air, nearly wagging it like a dogs tail to entice a big hit.  Imagine the beauty, the majesty of such an occurrence.  Also, Jerry would be selling extra dogs as NOBODY in the ballpark would want to be without a dog when the Juan Uribe spontaneously started because of acute game conditions.

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Technology….Tech-knowledgey – One of my favorite all-time noise making occurrences at a sporting event, was listening to the racing programs at a harness race getting smacked as the horses came down the stretch.  This was Sportsman’s Park circa 1991, when a 13 year old Beef and an 11 year old Chorizy were allowed to place bets on our own (gambling is good for the soul).  Anywho, as the horses came down the stretch, excited bettors would smack the programs against their hands, the seats, possibly some unsuspecting persons voluptous tokhis to get a cacophony noise that blended with the thundering of the horses running towards the finish line was just wonderful.  Well, guess what, in the era of “MONETIZE EVERYTHING” programs are too expensive for most fans to bother with, we have $10 beers to buy, we don’t have that in the budget.  One thing all fans do have is a handheld computer in their pocket, YEA BABY!!!  My thinking here is that when a critical error, ah FUCK IT, any gaff in the field by the opposing team occurs, we WhiteSox fans can fetch out our handy pocket watch and fire up one of the many “ringtones / alarms” that our fine phones have to offer.  Just flipping through my phone, I hear a handful of noises that would work great, but we’d want this to be organic, so we’ll have to wait and see what pops up.

I know what you are saying, the people who listened to the SoxMachine pod where the questions originally debuted are probably thinking, “Jim was talking about music and chanting, what you are talking about is dumb stuff.”…..Okay, fine.

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Jim wanted music, the only problem is, White Sox security are fucking NARCs….we detailed in a prior Sunday Soak how they wouldn’t even allow us to bring pizza into the ballpark, you really think they are going to let us bring a Tuba or some shit into the ballpark, furthermore, IF we could somehow work some magic to get something fun like that past security, we have like 20 ideas of crazy things that we think would be funnier, so we wouldn’t waste it on that. However, Chicago is a Blues town and one item that I believe would pass snuff would be a Harmonica.  If we could get a band of Harmonica playing Blues artists into the ballpark (we’d happily have that crew in Section 108 with our maniacs) we could get the feel of some real local music into the park to be played at various junctures in the game.  The sad part is, I think on most nights, you probably don’t even have a dozen musicians in the ballpark and that includes 108’s very own Chorizy-E, slapper of the bass.

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It’s a hard and interesting question posed by Jim Kane and I’ll be honest, it is something we should keep at the front of our minds and bring up regularly because there is probably someone out there, who doesn’t even attend games regularly yet, that is going to come with the big swinging idea that bowls all of these over and becomes the hot new thing in White Sox fandom.

-BeefLoaf
 

The White Sox Culture

 

As I stated in my previous article, I am a Season Ticket Holder and a lifelong fan. I take no joy or pleasure in writing this, but it is my opinion and I feel it is something that needs to be said.

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As the team finishes what many have claimed is the “toughest year of the rebuild” I keep hearing something from White Sox Management that quite frankly disturbs me. They keep talking about building a culture with Ricky as the agent of change, or agent of chaos depending on your view. My question is how can you talk about building a new culture when you have lost 100, count it ONE HUNDRED, games? When I hear about a culture change I immediately think of out with the old and in with the new, yet for the White Sox we see the same characters being trotted out year after year. This includes Daryl Boston, Todd Steverson, Ricky Renteria, and Don Cooper.

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I have to start with a simple question about Daryl Boston and I have to ask it in my best Office Space “Bob” voice. “What you say, you do here?” I cannot think of anyone to replace him because frankly I do not know what value he is supposed to add.

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As we look at Todd Steverson all White Sox fans should be infuriated that he has a job after the White Sox set a record for the most strikeouts in a season, EVER. Also remember Todd Steverson is still at the helm of imparting his hitting “knowledge”, and I use that term loosely, to the young players the team is basing their future on, reassuring isn’t it. I will admit that I never thought about this until my friend Joe brought it up to me, Chili Davis would be a GREAT hitting coach for the White Sox, and he is available. His approach is to use all fields and he preaches contact, not this “selective aggression” crap that Steverson preaches.

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Ricky Renteria is the man with the plan. He is the straw that stirs the White Sox culture drink. I will use a Bulls analogy from the late 80’s involving Doug Collins and Phil Jackson. Just like Doug Collins was not the man to take the Bulls from Point A to Point C (Championship) I feel that this is also Ricky Renteria. I think he is not a good tactician who makes some game decisions that make me scratch my head in disbelief and is so in love with bunting to waste outs. He also drives me nuts with some of the lineups he has fielded, example, why was Avi Garcia playing at end of season with a knee that required surgery? I would love to see someone like Buck Showalter brought in to manage. He is a manager who has developed teams from scratch, Arizona, and laid groundwork for a dynasty, the 1990’s New York Yankees. He is the exact kind of manager that the White Sox need. Joe Girardi is not the answer, not only because I think he is not that good. I say not as good because he had all of that talent in New York and only appeared in, and won, one World Series.

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With the White Sox model of pitching, pitching, and pitching Don Cooper becomes a critical player in this culture change. Coop has been around for a long time, in the good (2005), and the bad like the current six, YES 6, losing seasons in a row, including seasons of 99 (2013) and 100 (2018) losses. The main thing that bothers me about Coop is that the walk totals have increased from 474 (2015) to 653 (2018) and the WHIP 1.320 (2015) to 1.432 (2018). This is more alarming to me than anything else because it shows that the young White Sox pitching staff either can’t or doesn’t attack the strike zone. How many times have there been 0-2 pitches in the dirt or a foot outside the strike zone hoping the hitter would swing? How many times have we seen pitchers get ahead 0 – 2 only to walk them (aka the Quintana special) or the pitch count after the first two outs in an inning is at 6 or 7 yet at the end of the inning the count is around 25 pitches? Too many to mention in my humble opinion.

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I am also of the opinion that Coop is a system pitching coach. I’m sure some of you don’t understand what I mean. A system coach is one who tries to fit the players into what the coach wants, not looking at the players on an individual basis and building a pitching repertoire for each one. This is clearly evidenced by his constant use of the cutter. Not every pitcher on the staff should throw the cutter, it’s time to teach some other pitches based on the individual pitcher’s capabilities. Did you ever notice on certain counts teams jump all over the White Sox pitchers? Could it be that they know what pitch is coming since they are all equipped with the same pitch and approach, leading to the same pitch to be thrown in the same location by multiple pitchers? Another thing I have been told by a couple of former major leaguers is that some of the White Sox pitchers have been known to tip their pitches. If this is known by former major leaguers don’t you think this is something the major league coaches should know, especially Dr. Coop? Further, look at the track record and you will see some success stories, such as Jon Garland and Matt Thornton. You will also see abject failures in Mike McDougal, Will Ohman, Scott Carroll, Dylan Axelrod, and Carson Fulmer, to name a few. The Fulmer failure is especially alarming because he was supposed to be one of the core components of the future White Sox pitching staff and is it an example of Fulmer not really being major league caliber, possibly, or Coop being unable to relate to the new generation of pitchers, also possible.

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Now people can argue numbers and how it correlates to the talent level, and there is a valid point to be made, but if that is the argument then you cannot claim that the White Sox should sign pitcher X because Coop will coach him up. If this model no longer applies, then Coop must go and be replaced. Again, the organization needs to go outside of the organization to find fresh blood. I would like to see them utilize Dave Duncan, remember he is a consultant for the White Sox now, as a de facto pitching czar for the organization. He has actually coached Cy Young Winners (Bob Welch (1990) and Chris Carpenter (2005)) as well as helping to transform Dennis Eckersley into a pinpoint pitching machine who made it to the Hall of Fame.  I would also like to see them try to engage someone like Mike Maddux as the pitching coach. I know Richard Dotson is the heir to the pitching coach position for the White Sox but this is just a propagation of the losing culture, in my opinion.

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I have met Jerry Reinsdorf on numerous occasions and he is a terrific person. The issue with Jerry is that his greatest virtue is his greatest vice. He is way too loyal to people who do not deserve his loyalty. The bottom line is that this is a result driven business and the results have not been there. The White Sox last finished above .500 in 2012. That’s right TWO THOUSAND TWELVE. That is six (6) seasons of sub .500 baseball. If I failed in my job at that clip I would have been shown the door long ago.

As I type this it pains me to say that the White Sox, in this current configuration, will NEVER be able to sustain long term success under this coaching staff because, frankly, they do not know how to win. Yes, they are losers. Some of them (Cooper and McEwing) have been here for the current six season losing streak while others, like Nick Capra and Todd Steverson, have been here for only part of it. It appears that they have grown comfortable in this losing culture where accountability is not found, and expectations are built on selling hope for future prospect development. My concern is that the prospects will not pan out not only because of questions regarding talent evaluation as well as the coaching staff’s ability to connect with players and help them achieve their maximum potential, I’m looking at you Todd Steverson. Further, stop with the “Ricky’s Boys Don’t Quit” because if they don’t quit he would never have had to bench some at different times for not hustling. If you think I am wrong about my opinion I will immediately destroy your argument by pointing out my Todd Steverson argument and adding in at the end that he is still the White Sox hitting coach.

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As a Season Ticket Holder, and more importantly a fan, I want to know when this organization will quit with the “woe is me” crap and start acting like a big city franchise with accountability and expectations. Until they show the ability to do that, and win, they will continue to be an irrelevant organization that will continue to do a half-assed job at selling hope, because they don’t know how to sell anything, let alone hope or winning.

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In the final analysis true culture change cannot, I repeat CANNOT, be realized until the White Sox organization takes a long hard look at themselves based upon some of the information provided above and blows up the ENTIRE coaching staff. They need to bring in an outsider with no team ties or affiliation who can disinfect this losing culture that permeates this organization from top to bottom. Nothing less than that should be acceptable to this once great, yet currently diminishing, fan base.

 

-AlohaMrHand

Family Style – Interview Series – Ozzie Guillen Jr

We’re starting a new interview series in which we interview people who have a unique connection to the White Sox, the family of the players/managers we know and love.  To kick this off, I interviewed the son of one of my all-time favorite White Sox, Ozzie Guillen.  I can’t understate how much I loved Ozzie as a kid.  I was a huge Jose Canseco fan, who was a Latino superstar, but Ozzie was here in Chicago, playing for my team.  It was important to me, and it’s probably why I like to shave down to a mustache more often than my wife would probably like.  But enough about me and my facial hair, check out this interview with Ozzie Guillen Jr.

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Favorite game that you were at?  Blackout Game. Buehrle perfect game. Opening Day New Comiskey Park, World Series Game 4 2005. Been many ones lol. Worst game when Jim Thome hit a bomb in Minnesota lol still has not landed. And losing in Tampa in 2008 I wanted to cry.

Favorite all-time player that does not have a statue on the concourse and is not related to you?  Robin Ventura sweet swing and solid glove. Also shared a locker next to me lol as a kid Ozzie and Robin had a locker between them I would say it was mine lol. Now that I think about it we must have driven him nuts.

Favorite drink and dinner at the park?  The Patio hands down the best place to eat before the game. The Bertucci boys do it right. Love that place.

Favorite place to sit at Sox Park?  Growing up we made my dad get behind the plate seats at the new stadium 6 seats deep. They would be consider the scout seats today. I once sat in the scout seats a few years back with a friend and the view is even better now and not to mention the service. Every fan should do it once.

Favorite Sox uniform?  Good guys wear black. My team is the 93 boys. I love that black Jersey I call it the super power jersey. The bad streak breaker.

Favorite Sox giveaway?  I loved bat day as a kid. And now obsessed with any Hawk related. But I love the T shirts now. I been going to bed with a Dick Allen shirt at least 5 times a month lol. It’s on my pajama rotation.

Favorite Sox theme night?  It has not been created yet lol. Hawk night lol.

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What irks you the most about White Sox fans?  How much we worry about Cubs fans and what they do.

What is the worst part of being a Sox fan?  #2 syndrome. We seem to finish 2 a lot when I was growing up. And well now people acting like the Sox never won before the Cubs. LOL I did it you see I can’t help it lol.

Worst part of the game day experience?  Don’t have any complaints I hate when I can’t listen to the pre-game video lol.

What really grinds your gears?  When Sox fans call Ozzie a quitter after 2011 that was not the case. And people getting mad at me for being happy Cubs got a ring. LOL

Least favorite White Sox player of all time?  LOL nice try.

Worst opposing fans?  Tiger fans very aggressive.

Game Day

Most memorable White Sox experience?  Well my first broadcast in Spanish ever was awesome for me but I would say game one World Series and winning the World Series in Houston.

Ballpark experience, how could it be better?  Put charging outlets on the seats lol. And making Sox Ball Park a connected Stadium. I can also make that happen lol. That’s what I do for work lol.

Best Sox Park hack?  Like the best thing in the ballpark is the food we have the best food in baseball.

What brings you back for every game?  The opportunity to compete for a win. Watching baseball and seeing the team. So many memories at the Park. I still get chills every opening day. And I still go.

Feelings on the wave?  Not my thing. I go to the game to watch baseball. I keep score and analyze. To me baseball is everything I was raised that way.

How many games do you go to each year?  20 Sox games now. Wish it was more. But listen to radio and watch anywhere I am at. I follow baseball closely.

Section 108 Questions

What is your favorite baseball word?  Double

What is your least favorite baseball word?  Double Play

What gets you excited about the White Sox?  The Optimist Future.

What makes you sad about the White Sox?  That Ozzie Guillen is not working for them in any capacity yet. I love to see Ozzie advice in the front office. Ozzie is a great in game manager but even a better baseball mind. A PhD. Him working with Rick, Getz, Kenny, helping in development and scouting especially in Latin America and Venezuela would be beneficial to the organization. God time is always perfect. All families fight but they are family. White Sox is family to us.

What sound or noise at the ballpark do you love?  Gene Honda voice over the loud speakers asking for Sox fans to get on their feet for the 2019 White Sox.

What sound or noise at the ballpark do you hate?  Silence means it is not going well, no game, or worst a moment of silence for someone passing.

What is your favorite Hawkism?  HE GONE

We once saw your dad at Beer Bistro during a Summer Olympics.  We didn’t want to bother him, so we just sent a round of drinks over to the table, where everyone was sitting except Ozzie.  He was standing, cheering on the Venezuelan volleyball team, and holding court.  This was after he just managed a game.  Is he 100% energy 100% of the time?  Ozzie is very passionate about everything in life. But a wonderful human being. Ozzie cares about a few things Family, Baseball, and working lol. He is very misunderstood if you spend ten minutes where he is from in Venezuela you understand. The guy is a survivor. But one thing everyone needs to know Ozzie loves his White Sox. His nick name now is baby Hawk.

Make the case for Ozzie Guillen Sr returning to the White Sox as Manager.  Good Question but not fair to the sitting manager. I hate seeing on twitter when they say so and so will replace him. He’s our guy today right now. If that were ever to change then ask me then.

What players on the current team would be perfect for an Ozzie Guillen lead team?  Don’t know any personally Ozzie does best with guys that are not sensitive lol. Yolmer and him would have a lot of fun.

How would Adam LaRoche and Chris Sale been handled differently on an Ozzie Guillen lead team?  Those situations were bizarre. But don’t know. Looking back they will be situations that will be funny stories of the team. I was asked once to leave the club house lol Terry Bevington.

What is your greatest fear about the “rebuild”?  I hate the word. Every team that misses the playoffs are in a “rebuild” lol Building a team takes time this is not the NBA and teams have budgets lol. Not MLB the Show guys. They have done it successful in the past before they were called rebuilds.

What is there about this team that excites you the most?  The Depth of the roster is stronger now. No one believes in them other than them.

Give us a #HotTake about the rebuild.  Eloy Jimenez will be exciting to watch next year.

Tell us about your continued involvement in baseball in Chicago and elsewhere.  I do radio spots here and there talking white sox, cubs and mlb.  Ozzie senior is managing in winter ball. So help him put his team together unofficially. I assist write stuff down lol  My brother Ozney Guillen will be a great front office guy one day when he decided to stop playing. Kid is a baseball mind. I play way to much fantasy baseball am just a fan now. Whenever am needed to do a game in Spanish just call me I will be there.

You vs Siera Santos in a hot dog eating contest..What is the line?  Who wins?  Sierra I enjoy my hot dogs am a fat kid.

Favorite cut of steak?  Prepared?  Rib eye Medium

Favorite restaurant in Chicago?  Joes Stone Crab

Favorite place to eat near Comiskey Park as a kid?  I went to grade school in Bridgeport Love Punky Pizza & Pasta

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What other Chicago teams do you enjoy?  All Chicago Teams, including the Cubs yes I do watch them. Like I said I love Baseball.

Favorite Chicago sports history moment?  Ozzie Guillen raising a World Series Trophy

Favorite all-time Sox broadcaster?  Hawk

Which player had the biggest impact on you?  As a player I would say Joey Cora. Off the field Jose Contreras and Freddy Garcia.

Favorite band?  Los Amigos Invisible

What is your favorite song?  Eminem – Am not Afraid

Favorite TV Show (or Netflix or HBO or whatever)?  I watch way to much tv but obsessed with Billions and Shameless. All time Arliss

What was the happiest day watching the Sox?  First home game 2004 season. Aparicio, Chico and David Concepcion all there to watch Ozzie manage. All his hero watching him make it. Big deal to the family. White Sox did that for him it was special.

What was the saddest day watching the Sox?  Watching Ozzie give the press conference 2011 after his last game. He was dying inside.

If you could live in any other time, when might that be?  1980 and being 21 and a baseball player. But I might be dead already.

If you could change one thing in your past, what might that be?  I think be more mature. Appreciate what was around me more and the people. At 34 I see the world very different then I did at 24. And I never should have told anyone about twitter lol.

What are you most proud of?  Being a dad for sure. Being the first person in my family with a college degree and a MBA. My parents did not get that chance in life. So I honor them by that.

How would you like to be remembered?  Someone who always try hard and cared. Stood for what I believed in. Everywhere I go doors are open because the way my father has treated people I like for my kids to be the same.

What is the one thing about you few people know?  I don’t drink anymore. I was a big party guy in my twenties. LOL

What do you dislike most about yourself?  I hate confrontation. And I care too much what others think

What do you dislike most in others? Double standards and not respecting other people views and culture.

What were your best/worst subjects in school?  History best, Math worst

What do you like doing in your spare time?  Spending time with my family. I don’t think people realize how close we are. I think sometimes even to a fault. But that’s how we were raised family first. So being with them. Playing MLB the Show and PS4,Watching Tv, Reading, I read a lot. Any subject am intrigued by. Learning sabermetrics has been fun talking to my dad and combining the two and bonding with him over that and a cigar is priceless. Love playing fantasy baseball.

Who is your celebrity crush?  Mila Kunis

What is your favorite movie?  Man I have a lot but Tropic Thunder Lol

What is your favorite baseball movie?  For the Love of the Game / Eight Men Out

What is your biggest/weirdest fear?  No being good enough.

What would be your one super power?  Read minds

What would you change your name to?  Ozzie it’s not my legal name lol

What pet would you love to have?  English Bull Dog had two in my life named DH. We wanted to name him Harold Baines as a kid but my mom would not allow us. So DH it was. We also had a second base who was going to be Joey Cora. Lol

What is your one biggest pet peeve?  Not respecting others culture

What is your one annoying habit?  Dip when I play video games and watch baseball lol

What would be a good theme song for your life?  Eminem – Am not Afraid.

Rain Delays – Guest Post by Jack Benton

From time to time, the 108ers get sent submissions by other members of #WhiteSox twitter, this is from Jack Benton….ENJOY!

Rain Delays BLOW.

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Back to back nights this week I was part of two different rain delays at two different stadiums. These stadiums are roughly ten miles away from each other depending on the route that you take. One event was absolutely electric, everyone on the edge of their seat waiting for what was coming next and that was Michael Kopech’s first start on 35th and Shields, the other was Pearl Jam’s second night at Wrigley Field.

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Now don’t get me wrong, I love Pearl Jam, but the excitement levels were out of whack down at Fenway #2 on Monday because of the rain delay that forced field and 100 level patrons to the depths of Wrigley. Now I was in the 400 level, for those unfamiliar with Wrigley, this is only accessible with certain ramps that are located randomly throughout the concourse. So after #108ing for a few hours before the show, I needed to use the Whizz Palace. I asked the closest person who was attempting to work there where the nearest Pee Tub was and he informed me that it was on the 100 level. I am no mathematician, but 300 levels is a far distance to travel after peak . So as descended down into the depths of Wrigley, people at this point are using the ramps for everything from Herb Smokage to Carnal Passions. Staircases are packed with bodies sitting or standing in puddles, the small areas packed with patrons, reek of hot breath. This is exactly what I imagine a battlefield looked like in the Civil War. Temperatures rise and the ground is starting to get unstable as I arrive to the 100 level. Place is packed, there’s nowhere to move. It looked exactly like they learned absolutely nothing from when this exact thing happened 5 years prior in 2013.

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Show started, I finally arose from the depths hell only to witness a man take out what I assumed to be the same frustration as mine by degrading an ATM machine at some middle portion of some part of that damn place. In the end show was good; Wrigley Sucks for concerts and baseball games alike. Turn the page to Tuesday August 21st, White Sox Christmas Day, Kopech Day at the Cell (THAT’S RIGHT, THE CELL!).

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You could feel the energy as soon as you smelled the onions. The White Sox bullpen had people around it waiting since before I walked in at 5:45. You could feel that tonight was what all of us Sox fans were waiting all year for. Waiting for a glimpse at what could be a bright future for the pale hose. Kopech comes out to warm up, place erupts. Kopech walks to the dugout and gets announced by Gene, place erupts. He strikes out Denard Span for his 1st in the bigs, gets out of two jams, and again and again the place erupts with excitement. Finally, Michael Kopech stikes out Joe Mauer and they playoff type roar that burst on Chicago’s South Side must have been too much for the clouds to hold and down the rain came.

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About 20,000 people rushed to the main concourse to get out of the downpour. Even with this amount of people rushing to the main concourse with little to no notice, did I think I was at Wrigley like experience all over again. I knew that the ramps from each gate were huge, covered, and would fit all who would want to get out of the crowded concourse. I knew that all of the people in the 300 and 500 level had a place to go to the bathroom. I also knew that there were plenty of xfinity and craft beer establishments to assist with rain delay . First place I headed was the Craft Cave, took a little time but in no way was the hot stale smell of death creeping in. Got to the Craft Cave and the worst thing was the overwhelmed bar staff that in no way were expecting the 8,000 walk up ticket sales or the rush of patrons to the Bullpen Sports Bar. Waited for all of 6 minutes for my beer and then stood comfortably against the bullpen glass and waited the rain delay in pure creature comfort.

In conclusion this is not a Cubs vs. White Sox fans thought process. It is a bunch of sentences written in appreciation to a fantastic piece of property located on 35th and Shields. A place that should be looked at for concerts should Jerry want to make extra cash. A place that is easily accessible and is capable of providing a more electric crowd with 22,000+ in two innings, than a “historic” building with probably 60,000+ people on hand for one of the biggest rock in roll bands with a huge following. Rain delays suck but I would rather spend them at the Cell over the “friendly confines”

-JackBenton

Chorizy’s Mascot Assistant Job Application

If you don’t pay attention to the job openings within the White Sox organization, you probably missed the posting for a Mascot Assistant.  You should definitely apply, but know you will be going head to head with me, Chorizy-E for the job.  My application is below just to intimidate you further.  Not to mention, Southpaw and Beefloaf are pals.

https://www.mlb.com/whitesox/team/job-opportunities#mascot-assistant

Responsibilities:

  • Assist in the coordination and execution of Southpaw’s event activations. This includes, but is not limited to: Chicago White Sox home games, White Sox-related events, and Corporate Partner activations.

I’m not sure what Southpaw’s activations are, but let me just tell you that I’m not above being a fluffer.  In my younger days, times were tough and you take what jobs you can get.  So I have a bit of experience in “activations”.

  • Responsible for coordinating Southpaw’s school shows.
  • Emcee Southpaw’s school shows.

I used to work “Fashion” Shows at a bar on Lake Street back in the day.  I mainly bar backed, but one time when the DJ had a weird throat infection, I had to emcee.  I assume school shows are about the same thing.

  • Set up and break down mascot equipment for games and events.

I used to work merch for Pigface and Dope back in the day and they had elaborate setups.  I can definitely do the same with mascot gear.

  • Work alongside the Mascot Coordinator to oversee a successful partnership between the White Sox and independent event organizations.

I assume this is similar to Sluggerr’s handler in KC.  I’ve done some research on that and I’m definitely the guy for the job.

  • Act as the on-site liaison at Southpaw’s activations.

On-site liaison, I dig.  If there is one thing I am good at, it’s scoring you whatever you need.  Just no meth, we don’t need Southpaw’s fur getting all patchy and shit.

  • Speak to guests and fans for Southpaw during in-game visits and appearances.

I love talking with people, especially after a solid 6-10 Modelo tall boys.  I mean, I already do this at a majority of Southpaw’s appearances.

  • Be in suit for appearances as seen fit by the Mascot Coordinator.

I have what Sir Mix A Lot would call a juicy double, but if I can squeeze it into those tight uniform pants I’ll definitely throw on the big green head too.

Qualifications/Characteristics:

  • College degree in Marketing, Performing Arts, or other related field.

Surprisingly I have a college degree.

  • Effective communication skills, both oral and written.

Are you reading this shit?  Yeah, pretty obvious I got skillz.

  • 1 year game presentation or performance experience in dance; performance or acting training is highly preferred.

Nuff said

  • Due to costume restrictions, ideal height range is 5’8″ to 6’0″.

5’9″ but Husky sized pants

  • Strong organizational skills; must be able to multi-task.

Quadruple fisting is no problem

  • Previous mascot experience in college or another professional capacity.

I have no mascot experience, but this is a ridiculous request since you don’t require experience to manage the actual team.

  • Must have strong interpersonal skill with the ability to work with multiple departments and initiatives

I’ve yet to be kicked out of a Sox game despite extreme intoxication, so yeah, I’ve worked with most departments in the org without incident.

  • Must be comfortable speaking in public as an emcee with ability to be spontaneous when interacting with a crowd.

Happy to spread the gospel according to Chorizy

  • Event management experience is preferred

I assume you’ve already heard about the FromThe108/SoxOn35th tailgates.

  • Must be available to work nights and/or weekends as dictated by the game/event schedule

I’m already at the games.  As long as drinking and occasionally passing out is cool.

-Chorizy-E