I’m The Jerk That Wants The Sox To Sign A-Rod

Wait, What?

So in case you haven’t been paying attention, two things are going on:

  1. The Yankees are paying Alex Rodriguez about $27MM to GTFO.
  2. The Sox are a raging dumpster fire that should be shooting for a top 10 pick in 2017.

All this said, let’s add A-Rod to the dumpster fire.  I can see you there, you don’t like it, but I don’t care.  I want to see this happen.

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Why would you want this?

It’s kind of the White Sox way to pick up a player that was once great, that is barely usable now.  Think Manny, Griffey, Rollins, Canseco, Andruw Jones, and on and on and on.  So this wouldn’t even be out of character for the Sox.  In addition to this, A-Rod is 4 HR short of 700.  I don’t care how many asterisks you throw at it, I’d love to be in the park for someone, anyone’s 700th HR.  And the Sox can use the bump in attendance that would bring, so they can have extra cash to NOT spend in free agency.  It would also require a DH platoon.  This is something so ridiculous, that once again, I want to see it.  I mean, the season is over, let’s have some fun with this.

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Lastly, I believe we’ll have time travel in my lifetime.  Not Darren Daulton, crazy person time travel, but real time travel.  And I’m such a dick, I’d really just like to go see 2007 Chorizy-E and tell him that the Sox will have A-Rod, Morneau, and Rollins in the same season.  I won’t let him know, they’ll be absolutely terrible.

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How would you even roster this?

I will admit, it is not easy to have 2 DH on the same team.  But by sending down Shuck and Sanchez (sorry Write Sox) and bringing up Leury Garcia, you’re there.  Also, having to play A-Rod at 3B in a pinch would be something worth going to the park to see.  It’d be like putting Minnie Minoso in CF in the 1990s.

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But he used PEDs!

I own a Jose Canseco Sox jersey, so obviously this is not an issue for me.  And if PEDs are still somehow an issue for you, you really need to take off the blinders and realize the game you love is completely built on it.  Or did you think that MLB players having ADHD at about 100x the rest of the population is a normal thing?  Do you not know what Greenies are?  Do you think that Jim Thome is the cleanest player ever but played on one of the the dirtiest teams ever?  Yeah, I dragged Thome into it, and deep down you know you should at least question it.  Let’s face it, PEDs aren’t what ruined baseball, it’s why you turned it back on in the late 90s.

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Did you forget about David Segui?

I assume you’ve closed the browser by now.  If you haven’t, stop by the 108 when there’s a lefty on the mound, and you want to catch the opposite field 700th HR off A-Rod’s bat.   I’ll be there drinking a few of my performance enhancers.

– Chorizy-E

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