The Playoffs. Yep, it’s gonna suck.

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Yeah.  I know.  But I posted this to make a point.  This started floating around last year and it angered me a little, almost wrote a blog about it then, but I got drunk and said fuck it.  But this year, oh it’s on.

Why do I hate this?  Mostly because it states that if you are from Illinois you should be a Cubs fan.  May I be the first to say FUCK THAT.  2 teams in this city, 2 sets of die hard fans. Also calling a fan an asshole because they refuse to flip flop is just a dumb move.  You ride and die with your team folks, if some dumb meme will make you change sides, you suck balls. I think flip flopping or being all wishy washy – “I just like Chicago baseball!” – should be saved for just the out-of-towners living in this majestic place we call home.  I’d call you an asshole for being a turncoat. I’d call you an asshole for all sorts of shit to be honest, but in this case if you aren’t true to your team, you are the asshole, asshole.

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7 years old and already sick of this guys mouth.

In 2005 I didn’t want any Cubs fans cheering for my Sox, I couldn’t have given two fucks less if you were from Chicago and not cheering for them. I would respect you less if you were a Cubs fan and were riding the Sox bandwagon. Does this reek of insecurity?  Of course it does, at least for the guy making the meme.  I don’t think all Cubs fans believe this, just some of the jackwagons that I am friends with on FB.  Ha.  You got a great team, you have a huge fan base, enjoy!  You don’t need all the fans.  I know it will piss people off when I say that I am not pulling for the Cubbies, but yeah, ew.

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I wasn’t rooting for them in ’03 or ’15, but I wasn’t rooting against them.  I got friends and family that deserve to see their team win the WS.  But I am not buying any gear to cheer them on or posting sweet memes on FB cheering those guys on.  You can do that with the Bears and the Bulls, and clearly you can do that with the Blackhawks (they maybe had 7 fans before Kane and Toews got signed). But you cannot do that with the Cubs and Sox. It forces you to make a decision and stick with it.  Some would say that I was cursed being born to a proud Sox fan, but I saw my team win.  I saw my team win in magnificent fashion.  I’ll take it.  I’ve never followed the herd and there isn’t a herd on the southside according to our attendance.

Here are some things I know you will see in the next few weeks-

You’ll see a lot of “true fans” which is always fun.  Hell, they might be.  They might be there for the party.  But who are we to judge?  My good friends that are Cubs fans deserve this as much a I did in 2005.  They also understand that they need to win the games. It’s not a given they just win.  I never thought for a minute that the Sox would have had the success they did in 2005, especially in the Playoffs.  And I guess that is what gets under my skin a little. It is a long road still, it’s not a given they will get out of the first round yet alone win the series.

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Holy fuck.  King of the Assholes everyone!

There is gonna be a shit ton of people talking baseball that have no idea how baseball works.  If you already are a Cubs fan, you should be used to this. Oddly this is not limited to just girls.  I plan on staying as far away from the northside as possible. Hell, I have a concert at the Metro with the boys on Dec 16th (Helmet and Local H) and that might be cutting it too close if the boys in blue make it happen.  Ugh, I don’t even wanna think about that.

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Lotta shit talking on the White Sox.  Hell, that has already started.  Some is deserved, but goddamn, most of us Sox fans have to agree that the product that has been passed off as baseball on the southside since 2013 is god awful.  News flash, unlike some Cubs fans who have a direct line to Theo, just because I am a Sox fans doesn’t mean I agree with the path this team has decided to go. I like the departure of Robin. I would love a total rebuild, even firing a few top level guys (KENNY), but as I will tell anyone that will listen I have 0 faith in our front office to get what our big guys are worth on the open market. But I am part of the problem, I continue to throw money at this organization to watch shitty baseball. So in short, Cubs fans, zip it. You have shit to be happy about, you don’t need to talk down the southsiders to make yourselves feel any better.  Well, maybe if you lose you can do that. Sox fans zip it too.  This Cubs team is pretty good.  If they had on black instead of blue I’d take it.  Great players that bought into the team.  We can respect that.  But fuck asshole Cub fans. No respect given.

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Every media outlet will forget about 2005.  Much like Rudy Giuliani forgot that 9/11 happened BEFORE Obama took office, most media outlets will forget the complete dominance that was on display for the entire county during the 2005 MLB Playoffs.  And also like Rudy Giuliani, most media outlets will be sucking the Cubs balls like Rudy does for Trump.  We as Sox fans are used to that, but it will be even worse now that the Sox have played themselves into oblivion.

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Ditka. So gross. So gross.

Joe Maddon will be the next Mike Ditka. I like Joe, I think he is a great person to have running your team.  Especially if you have a great team.  He seems to develop young talent like a mofo.  The Cubs have had some great personalities running their squads, Dusty Baker and Lou Piniella come to mind, but Joe will be the one they remember if they win this thing.  I just hope that he doesn’t go all conservative and and ask waitresses “Can I eat your pussy?” later in life, cause that’s not a good look coach.

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Impressed that shirt has held up since 1908.

Everyone you fucking know will be the biggest fucking Cubs fan all playoffs. Yep, they will. “Oh I can’t do that, it’s 6 hours before the game.” There will be Cubs gear everywhere.  Every-fucking-thing will be Cubs branded. If any of your Cubs friends get’s a dog, no doubt it will be named Wrigley, or Rizzo or Bryant. But not Schwarber, that’s fucking weird.

So Sox fans, I suggest stocking up on High Life, Lite, Anti-Hero or your booze of choice for the playoffs.  You know the boys in the 108 will be drinking, so you won’t be drinking alone, ever. Take comfort that no matter what happens, your good friends Beefloaf, Chorizy-E, BigUns, Slumpbuster and My Sox Summer will be back in the 108 next April talking about random stuff and plowing through $8.75 beers like they cost a dollar. Hopefully watching a young team on a mission to rebuild, not some quick fix bullshit.  You hear that Kenny and Rick?  Help us out brahs. As always, Go Sox.

-MSS

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