Wild Predictions OR Things that won’t happen, but you could imagine what it would be like if they did

Good day friends, it’s your old pal BeefLoaf and I figured I would run down some predictions for 2017.  These are for entertainment purposes only, but if you make any money off these predictions, like Ginger McKenna, I WANT MY CUT.

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Charlie Tilson will generate the most WAR in the White Sox OF in 2017

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Melky is far better and Avi is likely to have more playing time, but Charlie Tilson will be the most valuable OF on this team.  I envision Melky Cabrera logging some time at DH and then summarily being traded.  Avi could lose time to Rymer Liriano or even Jason Coats, but Tilson (hurt as he is right now), appears to have the inside track at as many innings as he can handle in CF.  Unless Peter Bourjos takes his fruit cup or the White Sox suddenly think Jacob May deserves a shot, it will be Tilson leading the squad in WAR in the OF.
“The Wave” will have a BIG YEAR at Guaranteed Rate “aka” Harambe Memorial Field

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You know our take in the 108 and that is, FUCK THE WAVE!  108’s very own MySoxSummer was made a minor celebrity by this video.  Regardless, the fan base will be smaller and when they do come out, they are going to be far drunker, and drunk people fucking love the wave.  Us 108ers will have a lot of time on our hands at the ballpark watching bad baseball, so maybe we’ll figure out an anti-wave to combat this bullshit.
Rick Renteria will gain more weight than Don Cooper

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Look, we all know both of these gents are robust, and its been years since it even appeared that Don Cooper would try to lose weight (I mean the guy nearly died of diverticulitis and that won’t stop his ever expanding waist band), BUT, what I also know is that us latinos tend to expand our waist band as our income expands, and becoming the manager is most definitely a pay raise.  I hope that isn’t the case, but I believe it to be true.
Hawk will cry on air about Todd Frazier being traded

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The man left the booth to check on Frazier last year.  I am hoping for a tearful goodbye as Frazier is traded mid-game, but we’ll probably get that version of crying that you would have as a kid where you are also frustrated and sort of can’t breath either, where its like a gasp, that’s what we’ll probably get.  Maybe he’ll even cuss (he’s often said he wishes he could).  It’s the least he can do for those of us who have stuck by his brand insisting he’s “entertaining”
108 Twitter account will pass Jay Mariotti for twitter followers

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As of this morning the 108 twitter acct has 1,884 wonderful followers and the soul-less pud whack known as Jay Mariotti, the man that Ozzie Guillen once called a Maricon has 5,566.  The fact that he has more than us right now is insane, but we’ll pass him up before we are ringing in the new year in 2018.  If we get to Thanksgiving and we are still behind, we’ll post nudes to get there, “Win or Die Trying”
– BeefLoaf
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