New Rules at the G-Spot!!!

Good day all, it’s your buddy BeefLoaf.  Before we got ourselfs covered in snow, we had a month or so of basically beautiful weather.  During that time, I snapped a few pictures around the ballpark.  Most of the pictures are of the Guaranteed Rate folks smearing their obnoxious logo all over everything. This one in particular caught my eye!
NEW RULES!!!!
I must admit, if something like this existed previously, I never knew of their existence.  I assumed Sox Park was basically self policing (and if you have read any of our “BallPark Experience” columns, you’ll know why).  Anywho, here is a rundown of the list…..
– Guaranteed Rate Field will be free from foul/abusive language or obscene gestures by guests
 
When I posted this picture on @fromthe108 twitter, the first rule got the most response.  People cursing at me as to why they couldn’t go a whole game (or inning) without explicitives.  Believe me, I know.  I’m not sure if this rule got the most response because we as a fan base love to FUCKING SWEAR, or we collectively got tired of reading past the first rule because it was Sunday Funday and the day drinking precluded us from continuing much further, but anywho, I digress.  I tried to envision a White Sox game without foul or abusive language and it was awful…..awful like watching Goodfellas on the USA Network.  This is an artform, a medium if you will “FANDOM”, which requires artistic liberty and without it, we are all fucked!
– Intervention with an impaired or intoxicated guest will be handled in a prompt and safe manner
Seems like there is a bunch of code words and triggers in here, but from what I can gather, they aren’t fond of drunk people.  If people aren’t allowed to get impaired, we won’t get awesome chit like John Daly slinging drinks at ChiSox bar before games.
 
Doesn’t feel like a White Sox game if BeerBungHole can’t sidle up with the 108ers double fisting 24 oz Vodka/Sodas because he’s “taking a break from beer” OR if MadMex can’t race down to the bullpen bar between innings for a couple of shots to ensure he has an extra mellow game experience.  It is especially great because the White Sox just spent the last week making statements and releasing articles on who are the new beer partners in the ballpark.  CHILD PLEASE!
This is White Sox Nation, we drink hard and come out to watch a below average entertainment product.  Deal with it!
– Our guests’ experience will not be disrupted by unruly actions of behavior of others, including unauthorized persons entering or throwing any objects onto the field
Glad to see we are on rule 3 and we already have typos.  Did they hire us at the 108 to proofread this shit?  Anyway, although we don’t condone it, idiots run on the field all the time and there are no mechanisms in place to stop them from doing so, so Imma assume it continues despite this bullshit rule.  NEXT.
Fan above really enjoying their visit to the ballpark
– Guests will show their tickets when requested and sit only in their ticketed seats
As maddening as the cursing and drunkenness embargos are, this is truly the dumbest fucking rule possible.  I should do a poll on twitter about this (but I’ll probably forget by the time I am done writing this).  The 108ers collectively have gone to thousands of games and you know how many times there has been a dispute over seating that couldn’t be handled by the fans themselves?  ZERO!!!!!!  I get this rule in very extreme circumstances, say a playoff game, but otherwise, the folks in the red shirt should sit the fuck down unless a fan summons them.  Asking fans to show their tickets when there are 3,800 of us in the ballpark on a Thursday Night in September is some stupid shit.  We in the 108 try to educate those folks on this as the 108 is a lower corner and people often come sit there when they have snuck down from the upper bowl.  Unless there is a problem, there is no need to check a ticket during a regular game.
Obviously a big need to check tickets tonight!
– Use of tobacco products including smokeless tobacco and e-cigarettes is prohibited in the ballpark.  Violators are subject to ejection and fines imposed under……..whatever
Remember the days when you could smoke everywhere?  That was pretty awful.  I remember coming home from the bars, a newly 21 BeefLoaf, I’d wake up hungover as death, and my hair reeked of cigarette smoke.  Ah, those were the days.  I actually get this rule to some extent, so nothing much to complain about.  I do think it would be funny to envision security really taking upon itself to remove a fan from the stadium over an e-cigarette.  Can you envision a hipster vaper getting dragged from his seat with an e-cig hanging from his lip?  Would be fucking magic!
What say you?  Gotta complaint about the new rules?  Hit us up on Twitter or Facebook (preferably Twitter, as everytime I get on Facebook, I get enthralled with everyones political views so it bogs me down).
– BeefLoaf
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