The White Sox Twitter Personalities Tournament

Good day folks, I’m very happy to be here to announce a very special Twitter Poll tournament that the 108ers are hosting on “The White Sox Twitter Personalities Tournament
We have been working long and hard (several days) putting together the field for this tournament.  In its inaugural season, the tournament will have 36 teams, which is a standard 32 team tournament with 4 play-in games which start tomorrow!!!
The 108ers, because its our party and we’ll cry if we want to, have selected 4 different regions……
Celebs….with our Chuck Garfien as the #1 seed and the #1 overall seed in the tournament.
Bloggers……with WhiteSoxDave as the #1 seed in that region
SuperFans…..with the young buck ChiSoxFanMike as the #1 seed in that region
and finally, last but not least, without further adieu, coming down the mountain, here she comes, here she comes……the 108 region, with the Mayor of the 108, MySoxSummer as the #1 seed in the region.
Below is the full bracket (click the link to see it), feel free to follow along at home or possibly even fill out a bracket and send it in before the tournament starts.  If anyone gets a perfect bracket we’ll come to your house and drink all your beer to celebrate!!!  Now, you know you can’t beat that deal!
Play-In games start tomorrow, so be ready!!
– BeefLoaf

The Slumpbuster commercial….

Howdy friends….In a galaxy, not so far away, in a time that was, well 6 years ago, Section 108’s very own, Slumpbuster was in a commercial for the Champagne Lodge…you know, the Sybaris’ long lost cousin.  Anywho, some how, some way, our pal Slumpbuster knew a guy who was able to get him into the commercial and not just IN the commercial, but he’s a main fucking character in the commercial.  See below, for a fine slice of character acting…..
Admittedly, the first time we saw this after a Friday night Sox game, all together at Casa de BeefLoaf, we laughed our collective asses off.  It is not everyday that one of your chucklehead friends gets to be on TV acting like an even bigger jackass than normal.  So, since I was thinking about it, I figured I would share this piece of 108 history with all of you.
I hope you enjoyed it!
– BeefLoaf

Sox Park Food

A few weeks back we got a question for the Sunday Soak (on Saturday), by friend of the blog and the host of the Sox Machine podcast Josh Nelson, asking what food items we would add this season to the bevy of choices at Sox Park.  My answer during the Soak was an answer that I have had percolating in my semi-functioning brain for the past decade or so, Beef Jerky.  I’m very satisfied with that answer, but it sort of brought me to a deeper point in why I (and Chorizy-E) don’t really eat much at the ballpark and what types of foods might inspire me to eat at the ballpark more.  You see, when you are #108ing, it usually involves a tall frosty brew, possibly 2 of them as the crew often gets themselves “backed up” as we call it in the business.  So we have one brew in “the holster” (ie the cup holder behind the seat in front of you) and one on the ground (where, by the way, it’s perfectly safe to eat a soft pretzel that MAY have rested there for moments after a celebration mishap), not to mention, we are likely involved in a conversation involving Seinfeld, Music, a previous trip / vacation or possibly even the White Sox and baseball.  We might also have our phones out tweeting the next most recent mundane, marginally humorous, thought that crosses our mind.  You get the picture, we got a lot going on in the 108 at any given moment, so the last thing we need is a food items that takes two hands and a tv dinner tray to eat.  If it requires a fork, it can fuck off.  We need convenience.  A slice of pizza is convenient, a hot dog is convenient, because you can palm these like one of those mini-basketballs that they used to make in the 90’s with your favorite NBA team on them and throw that shit down.  Here is a short list of my other favorite foods that fit that bill and would be a perfect fit for Sox Park.  As Chorizy-E always says “we know Brooks Boyer is listening”, so here I go…….
Beef Jerky (Time)
As I said on the broadcast, there isn’t a single better addition to the ballpark food selection, in my mind, than some local, premium Beef Jerky.  I think you could charge a decent price for it too, as it is the perfect compliment to a tall, cold Modelo.  I know the 108ers would indulge quite frequently and it would surely enhance our ballpark experience.  Most importantly though, it is a very convenient food, as I can one hand stab that chit and still drink brews and tweet and possibly even watch Adam Engel strike out on 3 pitches.
PopCorn Balls
Look, I know what you are going to say, I can just see it now on twitter “Popcorn balls suck” and then some lunatic is going to go to the mattresses defending PopCorn balls like it was his Mom’s honor. I don’t mean to cause such distress in an otherwise peaceful twitterverse.  PopCorn balls have a tortured history for people our age, because it was a special treat to get a PopCorn ball and actually get to eat it.  I remember we would occasionally see them on Halloween when the weird guy with no kids down the block that looked like he worked a job with his hands and would always be dirty like a mechanic, but was on disability would sit on his porch with his German Shepherd and hand them out.  But back then, you couldn’t eat such a delectable treat from such a trustworthy gift giver.  NOPE!  There was widespread fear that these items had RAZOR BLADES in them.  Do you remember that?  Do you remember your folks vigorously searching through your Halloween candy to ensure its safety?  If only they vigorously checked and helped you with your homework back then you wouldn’t be unemployed from your gas pumping job in Oregon because those stupid legislators now believe it is safe for people to pump their own gas.  I digress, it was PopCorn Balls and Apples that were supposedly injected with RAZOR BLADES.  Can you imagine the patience and attention to detail it would take to get a RAZOR BLADE into either of these items and avoid detection so that the unsuspecting child bit into it and cut up their face?  Well, my parents and lots of other parents could, so we couldn’t really eat PopCorn balls…..but guess what, if the White Sox were to sell them at the ballpark, now you can, and there probably aren’t even too many of the RAZOR BLADE ones left from the 1990’s.  Sure the PopCorn ball isn’t really that good, but imagine the PopCorn ball fight that could break out in the 108 after last call.  If memory serves, the PopCorn ball is a little heavier and a little less curvier than a whiffle ball, so it would be loads of fun.
According to MySoxSummer, they already have empanadas at Sox Park, but since I don’t believe his recall is accurate on said things, we trudge on.  Empanadas also fit the bill as being a one handed food experience.  Jim Abbott could crush an empanada without using his non-throwing hand, so you know its good.  If you haven’t had an empanada before, SHAME. ON. YOU.  I think local restaurant Nana should supply them because they make the best empanadas around.    The way an empanada is put together, you can actually cheers the ends of the empanada with your neighbor before you take the first bite and break it open.  It’s a perfect celebratory food for the ballpark!
There is no more Bridgeportian treat on this list than Cannolis.  No, I am not talking about the bastardized mini cannolis (which are delicious as well), I am talking about a fucking full sized Cannoli.  There are many spots in Bridgeport that make a fine cannoli and could be able to sling them at games.  Again, the cannoli is a one handed treat, that a person can eat and tweet with.  If Chorizy-E and I can ever get one of the local joints to sponsor it, we intend to do a Cannoli eating competition, possibly with some of you folks, but it’s still a work in progress.  Until then, Cannolis are fucking terrific and should be a main part of the ballpark that is in Bridgeport (Bonita Steakie would tell me, daddy, it’s actually Armour Square….she can go pound sand).
While we are on the dessert tip, let me just bring in something from our Japanese brothers and sisters.  Mochi is Japanese ice cream, with a thin, dumpling-like case around it.  Not only do the Japanese make weird flavors like Green Tea that turn out to be fucking delicious, but these are hella easy to eat given the outter casing.  Only one draw back is that they have a light dusting of powdered sugar on the outside, but it’s not that the big of a deal because 25% of the adults sitting in the outfield corners / bleachers are doing blow in  bathrooms anyway.  Just think if Rick Hahn would’ve gotten off his ass and brought in some Mochi for the meeting with Shohei Ohtani, we might not have to pretend that Carson Fulmer is a starting pitcher.  Now, some of you will say, look we have a few different ice cream options at the ballpark, and YES, those options are good, including Dip n’ Dots (which I enjoy as well), but Mochi is far superior in fitting the criteria I have laid out as well as tasting great!
Hom Bao
This could be the Cadillac of stadium foods and yet, the #WhiteSox who trot out basically everything as a potential food item don’t take it seriously.  There are numerous restaurants in Bridgeport’s neighborhood cousin Chinatown that make a mean Hom Bao.  The two main versions are BBQ Pork or Ham and Egg.  Both are delicious, both would go great with a tall, cold Modelo.  They are also super easy to eat, as they are basically a closed, or semi closed sandwich.  This is the type of snack that allows you to make a passionate case for why trading Nick Swisher to the Yankees was a bad idea and not lose any of the contents of the Hom Bao.  As kids, Chorizy-E and I crushed many Hom Bao’s on Sunday mornings (typically leading up to a Bears game, you know, when they were good)…..although Chorizy-E is a pussy and doesn’t like Eggs so he’d de-Egg his, but still, its a fine sandwich.  I think if properly marketed, the Hom Bao would crush at #WhiteSox games.  Brooks, book it!
Food for the passionate White Sox fan.
– BeefLoaf


25,000 oz

Sports has tons of outlandish claims…….Wilt Chamberlain’s 20k women, Wade Boggs drinking 60 beers during a cross country flight, Larry Bird scoring 47 pts in a game with his left hand, Kim Jong Il’s amazing round of golf in which he shot 38 under par, with 11 holes in one and…..the 108ers drinking 25,000 oz of beer during the baseball season??  That’s right, yours truly came out with what I thought to be a reasonable claim to our friend Aloha Mr. Hand’s question in our most recent Saturday Soak, but apparently, some people saw it as NOT. SO. LIKELY.
Before we go down this path, I want to warn you folks, these calculations are purely hypothetical in nature and may or may not reflect what actually happens in the actual, actuality.  Also, these calculations are just a reflection of the OG 108ers, so someone who is at tons of games with us like #Wally$ isn’t reflected in this number.  If he were, well, it would obviously go higher (but we weren’t counting Bacardi consumption, so there’s that).  There is also the matter of amount of games attended, MySoxSummer went to 76 games last year, yours truly, the ‘Loaf attended 60 games, we are only projecting 50 (well 51), so conservatism has been appropriately applied…..IN THEORY….not like this stuff would REALLY HAPPEN.
Okay, let’s dig in…..
First we look at Opening Day, a festive affair in which the 108ers have a private party with friends and family….

Opening Day

Next, we have the estimated 20 games that the 5 OG 108ers hit together, its mostly all Fridays and some Saturdays…
Finally, we have the estimated 30 games that just MSS, ‘Loaf and Chorizy-E hit together…
Sunday Soak
1,060 + 14,600 + 9,360 = 25,020 oz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All of this excludes extended Baderbrau tailgates, where the beer flows from gates to the 3rd inning, or Patio Parties or days were we just decide to hang out for several hours afterwards and drink the cooler to the bottom.  Again, a CONSERVATIVE estimate. 😉
I know what you are saying….”BeefLoaf, is all that drinking considered healthy for the 108ers?”….well lucky for you (and luckier for us) one of our best friends in the whole wide world is a Real Life Doctor!!!!  I reached out to our best friend in the whole wide world, Dr. Feelgood, to get his take on our barley & hops consumption.  This is a serious medical opinion, so let’s be serious and listen….

“As the local medical consultant for all things 108, I’d have to say that this amount of alcohol consumption would be defined as, in medical jargon, detrimental to your health which in layman’s terms means “hella bad”. 

Alcohol is directly toxic to your liver. It literally kills a small portion of your liver every time you drink it.

Luckily, the liver is the most resilient organ in your body.

Long term consumption of this magnitude increases cancer risk and can lead to cirrhosis and dementia. 

The only problem is….108er’s are so fun to drink with and 25000oz is likely the only way imaginable to be able to sit through the amount of White Sox baseball they will watch this year. 

Additionally, several case studies point to excellent alcohol consumption as a direct risk factor for becoming an elite athlete, with examples across multiple professional sports. For example, Wade Boggs, John Daly, Andre the Giant, and yes, the Babe himself, all consumed well over what the average American drinks per week, which is about 9 drinks. By this reasoning, you could just diagnose my guys in the 108 as well above average drinkers on their way to becoming elite athletes.”

See, we are not only doing something for the betterment of White Sox twitter, but we are nourishing out elite (blogger) athlete bodies!
– BeefLoaf


In Honor of Jake Burger…The 5 – Soul Crushing Chicago Sports Injuries

It is kind of weird for a recent MLB draft pick injury to create a visceral effect on a fan base, but this really did.  I can’t put my finger on exactly why, but I suspect that it is a combination of White Sox fans taking a leap of faith with the rebuild AND Jake Burger being the EVERYMAN of the rebuild.  He looks like you could’ve plucked him directly from the 108, but suddenly he’s out there playing and being picked in the top 101 prospects by Baseball Prospectus.  This sort of got me thinking about the most soul crushing Chicago sports injuries of my lifetime (well, at least for the teams I root for….sorry Mark Prior)……I bring you, the 5.


5. Jay Cutler 2011 – The Jay Cutler era was a mixed bag, but in the middle of his stay, the Bears had 3 good teams, 2010 they lost the NFC Championship (a game Cutler was also hurt in) and 2012 where they finished 10-6 and just missed the playoffs.  The 2011 team might have been the best one, starting the season off 7-3 with a clear path to a playoff spot (the Packers were running to a 15-1 record, so the division was theirs).  Cutler was flourishing under Mike Martz’ offense, when Cutler broke his thumb in the teams 10th game versus San Diego at home.  This effectively ended the Bears season as they went 1-5 down the stretch and missed the playoffs….the Bears haven’t made the playoffs since, missing narrowly in 2012 and 2013 and never getting close again since.
4. Jim McMahon 1984, 1986, 1987, 1988 – The 1985 Bears are the most famous Chicago sports team of my lifetime.  Nearly everyone you talk to would say “It is a shame that the Bears didn’t win more than one Super Bowl.”  The reason they didn’t win more than one was because Jim McMahon couldn’t stay healthy.  Having lived through this era, it was always soul crushing when Jim McMahon would go down, but none more upsetting than in 1986 when the POS Charles Martin ended his season with a late hit.  This is the type of shit that wouldn’t be tolerated in the modern NFL, he’d be suspended for a season or longer, but in 1986, he got 2 games, bfd.  McMahon would manage to get back on the field occasionally in 1987 and 1988, the 1988 NFC Championship drubbing by the 49ers being his last game in a Bears uni, but it would never be like 1985 again.
3. Carlos Quentin 2008 – White Sox fans will remember this all too well as it was the last team to make the playoffs.  Quentin was cruising to what was likely to be an AL MVP season, when he fouled off a pitch from Cliff Lee that he would’ve liked to smash and he smacked his right fist off of his bat.  He didn’t even act like anything had happened when it occurred, but it hit him perfectly and broke his wrist.  He never played again that season and the White Sox, though triumphantly winning the AL Central, bowed out in the ALDS against the Rays….ahhh, what could’ve been had Quentin been healthy for that series.  Quentin would be back and be decent across a few more seasons, but injuries continued to plague him throughout the remainder of his career.
2. Derrick Rose 2012 – This might be the saddest of all sad injuries in Chicago sports history (shout out to Gale Sayers).  Chicago’s very own Derrick Rose, the hometown kid winning an MVP right here with the Bulls.  The Bulls were the #1 seed in the East (yes they still had to get past LeBron) and were looking down the barrel of a half decade of #1 and #2 seeds in the East, when late in game 1 of the 1st round of the playoffs Rose goes down with a torn ACL that forever changed the course of the Bulls and Rose.  Rose’s life since has been weird to say the least.  Rose and the Bulls medical staff came under a lot of scrutiny with all the starts and stops of the rehab, but no matter what side you are on (as if there even should be sides to this), it didn’t turn out as intended.  Rose was such an inspiration and then THAT Rose was GONE.  Damn shame.
 NFC Divisional Playoff: Seattle Seahawks v Chicago Bears
1. Tommie Harris 2006 – As upsetting as the injuries above are, this one hurt the worst.  The 108ers are nothing if big Bears fans, that’s our #2 allegiance behind the Sox.  The 2006 season was humming along great with the offense popping up above pedestrian and even a young return man flying through the air like a super hero and scoring from all over the place.  That team though, was about the defense and despite the fact that there might end up being several HOFers on that squad, including newly minted Gold Jacket recipient Brian Urlacher (and possible future considerations, Lance Briggs and Charles Tillman), the key cog to that defense was Tommie Harris.  The kid from Oklahoma was unstoppable at the 3 Technique (whatever that is).  All I know is that PC Jonny used to crack wise about how Tommie Harris was lined up in the opposing teams backfield on the regular.  He was a STUD.  This team looked unstoppable, until week 13 when Harris went down with a gruesome  hamstring tear.  Like, torn off the fucking bone gruesome.  Without Harris, the Bears still managed to get to the SuperBowl, but couldn’t handle the Colts.  I just imagine that the 2006 Bears would’ve been Super Bowl champs had Tommie not gotten hurt on that fateful day.
– BeefLoaf

Continue reading In Honor of Jake Burger…The 5 – Soul Crushing Chicago Sports Injuries

Why Gordon Beckham’s failures won’t ruin my Tim Anderson buzz


Folks, if you have been watching the White Sox recently, you know that the most exciting reason to watch (save for Chris Sale starts) is the 22 year old JuCo product from Tuscaloosa, AL.  It has been absolutely thrilling to watch a homegrown White Sox hitter actually come to the majors and look like he knows what he is doing…………but of course, being a White Sox fan and viewing twitter, the inevitable occurred…..

This list goes on………..but White Sox Twitter is clearly terrified that their favorite new player is doomed to the failures of another former favorite new player…………I AM NOT!


Kansas City Royals v Chicago White Sox


Gordon Beckham has caused me enough strife, and I won’t allow him back into my emotional White Sox experience……….not only did he fail spectacularly, but he hung around 35th and Shields way too long, got to play way too much and was much too beloved for a majority of that………I’ve got a good head of hair too, but that doesn’t mean people should love me even when I suck…….oh and then after I thought he was finally gone, they pulled him back in!


 They are two different players, Beckham was a completely finished product when he was drafted, in fact he hit 28 HR and played SS for a top college program as a Junior in 2008 and somehow wasn’t picked #1 overall.  On the other hand, Anderson was a JuCo kid, who had mostly played basketball until a couple of years before shooting up the draft board and being drafted #17 overall in 2013.  The developmental paths are very, very different, and although Anderson has downside, he has a lot of upside as well.


I remember an early Gordon Beckham slump when he was on local radio being interviewed and his answers to questions about the slump and approach etc were concerning.  On the other hand, according to hitting coach Todd Steverson, Tim Anderson has some things to work on at the plate, but his fear level is 0.  For those of you that have read “Moneyball”, GB is Billy Beane and TA is Lenny Dykstra (without all of the financial fraud).  That makes me feel good.
gordon beckham


As noted previously, Gordon Beckham has great hair, and I think his handsome southern gentleman self may have distracted me (I know it distracted female fans as some still love GB, even after 5 pretty terrible season here).  According to Hawk, “He has that good face” and you would hear, “he looks like a ballplayer”………….on the other hand………what we were missing was that he had a long ass swing.  Anderson, to me, seems to have a very quick swing, seems to be able to react on the fly during a game and he doesn’t have a particularly obvious baseball look.  He looks like a good athlete, who looks like he can play well, but still doesn’t quite know how to play.  That’s reassuring, because it seems like he has upside and he’s malleable enough to change when necessary.
In closing, I hope this article is as cathartic for you as it was for me and allows you to lay Gordon Beckham’s terrible White Sox career to rest for good and  to move onto what should be a lovely Tim Anderson era.

– BeefLoaf


The 5 – Overweight Heroes

From left – Matt “Cat” Albers, his SMOKING HOT WIFE. Gives all fat/rich guys hope.

If you haven’t watched the wonderful 13th inning of the Sox/Mets game from last Wednesday, where 108’s fave Matt “El Nino” Albers starred, please do yourself a fuggin’ service and go back and watch it!  In light of this virtuoso performance from El Nino, it has inspired me to write about 5 of my favorite overweight heroes

Don’t ever change.
5. Bartolo Colon – It’s cliche, but watching Colon do just about anything is like poetry in motion, he’s everything you want in a #fatthlete he looks weird and awkward doing athletic things, but he also has a sort of grace in doing them……..he makes you think that you could get off your couch and hit your first home run at Petco Park at age 43.
4. Aretha Franklin – An all-time great voice in music history, but she didn’t get the nickname “the Queen of SoulFood” for no reason.  She made it okay for Ann Wilson to become as robust as she did and she laid the ground work for the future Kelly Clarkson’s  and Adele’s of the world.
3. Buddha aka “Siddhartha Gautama” – If half of the world is following your teachings, your way of life, you are a major hero……………Buddha was a big boy, especially in his day…, he’d probably be your average Milwaukee Walmart shopper, but still brilliant and insightful……..and some great big ears as well.
In the end, maybe he needed it more than Walter.
2. William “the Refridgerator” Perry – Needs no introduction, he was the first high profile 300 pounder in the NFL………now, 20% of the league is pushing 300 pounds…….he had his own cheerleaders, he was in every commercial, he scored a touchdown in the SuperBowl………..facts are though, he was a fantastic athlete, I once saw him do a 2 hand dunk at a charity basketball game……Fridge was a freak, but belongs well up on this list.
Our very own MSS (looking well fed) with the Hedgehog.
1. Ron Jeremy – I am not sure how many of you have actually viewed an adult film, but those of you who have, Ron Jeremy is the first seriously fat male superstar in the trade.  He’s also shown up in dozens of regular films, including prominently being featured in the Chase with Charlie Sheen (hard to believe they are friends)……

– BeefLoaf

Robin Ventura must be FIRED!

Robin Ventura must be fired……please ignore if your thoughts on manager value are as lazy as Chris Rongey or Herb Lawrence.
Most of you, like us at the 108, are soul-crushed after watching/listening to the Friday and Saturday games in Kansas City………I had this post written (or mostly written) after Friday nights game, but after the collapse on Saturday, I was too heartbroken to want to get it posted.  Chorizy-E convinced me that I need to post this so I wouldn’t vomit from these recent losses.  So here goes….its bloody and gory, like a bad horror film, but no breasts and no Joe Bob Briggs.
 Screen shot 2013-02-03 at 12.36.46 PM
Optimal Lineup Construction
Various folks who are smarter about baseball than I have pointed this out, but I do harp on this consistently, RV continues to hit (mostly Jimmy Rollins, but occasionally Austin Jackson) his worst OBP regular 2nd.  This is a gigantic error in optimal roster construction.  Tom Tango (who wrote “The Book” a must read for any serious baseball fan) created the seminal work on the subject, you can search the webs for that, or please do buy “The Book” it is still great!  The key that is being missed by RV.
“Your three best hitters should bat somewhere in the #1, #2, and #4 slots. Your fourth- and fifth-best hitters should occupy the #3 and #5 slots. The #1 and #2 slots will have players with more walks than those in the #4 and #5 slots. From slot #6 through #9, put the players in descending order of quality.”
Batting essentially your worst regular in one of the spots where your best hitters should hit is a gigantic error.  In sabr/nerd circles, optimal lineup construction over random is worth about 10-15 runs a season, which is worth between 1 to 2 wins per season in this run environment, which is a huge loss for having a non-optimal lineup.
Your 3 best hitters are Eaton, Cabrera and Abreu….NOT Jimmy Rollins or Austin Jackson.
 Cjoe7AzUgAMA2Q_.jpg large
Bench Player Usage
In some respects, you are dealt what you are dealt with regards to bench players and in modern baseball, with so many relief pitchers your bench is severely strapped, so while some of these concepts are valid, it is a big stretch to think RV is cerebral enough to not only get them, but to be an independent thinker enough to use them.
Carlos Sanchez (@WriteSox baby boy) – was called up on April 28, 2016, in that time (24 games) he started exactly twice at 2b.  The one thing Sanchez clearly does is provide defensive value at 2b, especially compared to Brett Lawrie who is a negative defender at 2b.  In 2015 Sanchez was worth 1.0 dWar according to baseball reference, so letting Lawrie, who had not had a day off and is a large injury risk, have a day off more regularly or DH occassionally seemed a reasonable.  Of course that didn’t really happen and Sanchez is back at AAA.
Jerry Sands – I’ve been told he has done nothing but crush lefties in the minors……and yet, 2/3 of his plate appearances have been against righties.
Tyler Saladino – I for one did not believe the preseason hype of Tyler’s glove, but I did believe and after watching the first week of the season, everyone should believe that he is a far better defender than Jimmy Rollins, yet, RV almost never replaces Rollins with Saladino late in games.  I really liked the gamble on Rollins preseason, but most of it was predicated on him hitting……….his defense is gone and has been gone for awhile.  It should be an automatic defensive sub late in games………..
Thinking Outside the Box – There are creative ways to use your bench to maximize offense, one would be to use Navarro at DH vs a tough righty to maximize your lefty bats.  Yes, I know Avila is made of glass and if Navarro has to fill in for him, you lose your DH, but so what?  The occassion is rare and the value of adding a better bad vs a tough right is worth it.  I can’t kill Robin for this though, because he’s too dim to do some of the easier things previously mentioned, so he won’t do something avant garde like this.
Bullpen Usage
I can’t communicate the piss and vinegar that is a nightly occurrence on White Sox twitter with the often curious usages of the bullpen……….Friday and Saturday vs. the Royals were prime examples.  I think the majority of it boils down to not understanding high leverage situations and how one of your two excellent relievers (Nate Jones and David Robertson) should be pitching in them.  The bullpen usage the last few days has been snap your laptop in half, kick your cat, type stuff.  Maybe we can assume Don Cooper is calling the shots, but I don’t remember this silly stuff when Ozzie Guillen was manager (maybe my memory is shot), so RV has to be culpable.

MORNING JOURNAL/DAVID RICHARDChicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen gestures to Cleveland Indians fans and Tribe mascot Slider during a pitching change yesterday at Jacobs Field. The White Sox swept the Indians to keep Cleveland from earning a playoff spot despite a torrid second half.

(Deep Breath)
Alright………fine, I know what you are saying, if you are still reading and still defending, you’ll have one good point in your pocket, being the Manager is more about managing people and the egos of 25 players and staff…….its about people skills and knowing when someone’s personal life isn’t in the best spot or a player is slumping and knowing to give them a day off……….its about interpersonal relationships and managing the working environment…….
Drake LaRoche
Enuff said………….exactly what the fuck does RV do here that adds to your chance to win?  Why did Kenny have to do all the heavy lifting here, it reminds me of Godfather II where one of Michael’s body guards comes up to Fredo and says “If you can’t control your wife, Michael says I have to.”………..that’s right friends, our manager is Fredo…..He’s smart, not dumb, like everyone says……………and he wants respect.
If you aren’t done with RV, please show yourself out……no Kirkland beer for you.

– BeefLoaf

The 5 – Reasons TO Buy The Hype

Have you bought in yet? Find yourself wanting to head to 35th and Shields to catch some of this awesomeness? It feels good Sox fans.  For us who have suffered through the past few seasons, we deserve this.  The players deserve this.  Ventura deserves this.  Here’s my 5 reasons to buy in now!

Offseason moves.

Unlike 2015, the Sox actually filled holes.  Frazier, Jackson, Avila. In the short term, it seems to be working. Allowing Garcia to only DH, makes sense.  Maybe will keep him healthy.  Who knows? The talent is there, let’s stay healthy guys!

AMAZINGLY Good start.

I ran into Jim Rose (@jimroseabc7) at Walgreens down on State St. I asked him his thoughts before the season started and he hesitated to give me the solid thumbs up.  he was very concerned with the clubhouse mood after the whole LaRoche  incident.  But he did say we’ll know how well this team will do a few weeks into the season.  I agree 1000%.  In 2012, they started strong and held that lead till September.  Sad decline, but was a fun year to watch Sox baseball.  I think that year also set us back, thinking that we did have the right components for a winning team, which we clearly did not after three abysmal  seasons in a row. We chatted about some other stuff, which I will share with anyone in a private conversation, then went about our way.  Mine was to look for clearance Easter candy that didn’t suck, his was for gift cards.


Timely hitting.

It’s been kinda sparse, but last year when we had two on with no outs, you hit that slump in the order that produced little to no runs.  Had to deal with the Beckham and Flowers vortex that just sucked any momentum we had going.  This year, so far, we have seemed to come up and got a few hits that got us the runs we needed to win that game.  I hope it will continue to happen as the bats warm with the weather, but honestly, who knows. If we are down 2 runs in the 7th, this year we know it isn’t over.  Been very fun to watch.


Matt “El Niño” Albers and the pitching staff.

I like his passion.  I like his pitch selection.  I like his overall size.  His consecutive out record that he was carrying since last August is just a nice thing to see.  Good to see the bullpen coming in and kicking some ass.  Will he keep this type of production up the rest of the year?  Maybe.  Most likely not, but let’s hope so.  Will he help you finish a helmet sundae?  You know he will.  Cause he’s a team player.


Chris Sale is 6-0.  Mat “Cat” Latos is 4-0. Jose “Q” Quintana is 3-1.  Once again, it’s early, but these are some great numbers. I bow to you Donnie Cooper. The offense is helping it happen too. We have a stinker, Mr. Danks, but honestly that guy is trying as hard as he can.  He’s had his chance, it ain’t working, let’s bring him in for long relief situations.  I like John, but it’s time to move on.  Bring in the new guys, feed off their energy.  Feed off this hella good start.  Let’s cash in bitches!

No pressure.

Besides us crazy ass fans, no one is expecting the White Sox to do anything.  I want them to have a chance to make the playoffs.  They don’t have to make the playoffs, but I would like to see some meaningful baseball in September.  They boys up north have all the pressure on them.

We are playing the perfect hand.  The city is Cubs crazy.  The fact that the Sox have stayed with ’em as far as wins is really amazing. Fans are starting to show up on the southside, causing some longer wait times, which is pretty cool too.  The best baseball is being played in Chicago right now.  Amen. Good time to be in the city.

UPDATE – I wrote this weeks ago, still holds up, but within that time the Sox have swept two series.  They are playing crazy good right now.  I am almost fully on board.  However, I know once I buy in at 100%, shit will go badly.  So for all of you, I will not be 100% till we make the playoffs.  It’s awful fun to watch them win though.



Leave the Gun, Take the Cannoli.

Baseball blogs don’t have to be about baseball all the time…………sometimes they should about the nonsense chatter that occurs while you enjoy a baseball game (especially at the park)…………this inspired me to think……………. “What if I made an entire lineup out of fictional mobsters, what would that look like?” and voila……..


SS – Batting Leadoff – Tony Montana (Scarface)

The local mercurial radio personality that is Dan McNeil once dubbed Ozzie Guillen “Ozzie Montana” in reference to his fast talking and cut throat nature…….got me thinking that none other than Tony Montana himself should lead off for this group. Tony Montana was smart, tough and talented…..willing to take risks to go to the top, that’s what we need in our defensive leader and lead off hitter. I am guessing the downside of his career will be a coke-laden disaster, but we won’t worry about that right now.

Favorite scene – Killing Frank Lopez and Mel Bernstein….bone chilling scene, but offering Ernie a job at the end always cracks me up.


LF – Batting Second – Mr. French (The Departed)

Reliable…..that’s Mr. French. That’s what we need in our left fielder. He’s the best #2 in fictional gangster folklore, which is why he hits here. He’ll go down with the ship. Your prototypical #2 hitter.

Favorite scene – He and Frank Costello talking about how reliable he is, smash cut to him strangling his wife to death. Loyal….to a point.


CF – Batting Third – Russell “Stringer” Bell (The Wire)

The #2 (really #1b) of the Barksdale Organization, Stringer Bell was the brains behind the Organization, bringing modern business techniques to match up with the ruthless violence that is needed to run an inner city cartel. Stringer is one of the most skilled of this entire group, which is why he plays CF and hits 3rd….he can do basically everything (although is fatally flawed like the rest of the group). He taught the young gangsters how to think like businessmen and it would’ve worked out alright if his vigilante partner, Avon Barksdale didn’t want to go to the mattresses over “his corners”.

Favorite scene – There are so many, but the exchange between he and Barksdale revealing D’Angelo’s death is probably the greatest….it’s the beginning of the end for them, but dramatic and thrilling.


1B – Batting Fourth – Tony Soprano (Sopranos)

For my money, there isn’t a more interesting, a more complex character in television series history…..there isn’t one more alpha either. Tony Soprano drinks, eats and fucks whatever, whenever and whoever he wants. He is also a brilliant business man who constantly learns and evolves. He’s a monster and an everyman. He’s also the clean up hitter on this squad, he’s a force…..although a fat force, so 1st base it is…….if he lived a little longer, he’d probably migrate to DH just like Big Frank did.

Favorite scene – The whole exchange leading up to and through killing Ralph Cifaretto. Pure madness.


3B – Batting Fifth – Marcellus Wallace (Pulp Fiction)

Anybody who can call Winston Wolf at a moments notice and make problems go away has to be on the list. Nobody really knows if he threw Tony RockyHorror off John Danks’ condo……err………the roof into the greenhouse, but I like to believe he did. A ruthless, but reasonable boss (as he did make peace with Butch), he has to be on this list and prominently featured. If you are around my age, Pulp Fiction is the first GREAT movie of our generation.

Favorite scene – “Telling Jules Winfield that the Wolf is coming directly.” A true gangster that has it under control never needs to raise his voice to get the job done.


DH – Batting Sixth – Teddy KGB (Rounders)

Russian mobsters fit just fine on this list……….so do guys that run gambling rooms (the kind of place you would find someone from the 108). Teddy KGB can be more comical at times due to his ticks and mannerisms, but for this list he slots in nicely as a guy who gets the money. He’s our DH, older, wiser, but still productive.

Favorite scene – Opening scene of Rounders when he traps Mike McD with aces full. A crafty old gangster knows how to get the money with an inexperienced business counterpart.


C – Batting Seventh – Peter Clemenza (Godfather)

Inspiration for the title of this article. Clemenza is your workman like gangster, perfect to be our catcher (plus he’s a big fat fuck). He teaches Michael Corleone many valuable lessons on his way to becoming the don, how to commit a murder in a crowded restaurant, how to cook for 10 guys, and he’s incredibly loyal……….of course it was Tessio who arranged the meeting………….when I think of Clemenza, I think of an old hand catcher like Carlton Fisk, someone who is good and reliable back there.

Favorite scene – The aforementioned scene where they kill Paulie. Not necessarily a great scene, but iconic.


RF – Batting Eighth – Omar Little (The Wire)

Your RF ought to have a gun…..and nobody has a bigger gun that Omar Little…………think prime Bo Jackson level gun. The Wire is a series that gets in your head and stays there and of the characters in the Wire, Omar Little is often cited as people’s favorite. Robbing drug dealers is an odd vocation, that takes both high intelligence and guts and thats what we want in our RF.

Favorite scene – There are some many, but his alley meeting with Brother Mouzone is great, two cold blooded sonuvabishes, talking out a business arrangement at gunpoint.


2B – Batting Ninth – Fly Guy (I’m Gonna Git You Sucka)

A seminal movie that most people probably haven’t seen, but this comedic take on blaxploitation blasted open the door for Keenan Ivory Wayans and a generations of comics. Fly Guy tied it all together and while hilarious, he was also of great importance. He’s your gritty keystone who gets the job done, providing the key information and then saving the day.

Favorite scene – “Pimp of the Year Speech” is about the silliest shit I can remember.


SP’s – Frank Lucas (American Gangster)

An unlikely gangster and one of my favorites on this list. A true business man who had to do some of the darker things that gangsters do. He didn’t like to be flashy, he just liked to get the job done. He’s your #1, with a big fastball and 2 other plus pitches.

Favorite scene – Frank kills Tango. Might be the best scene on this entire list.


Frank Costello (The Departed)

From trolling the priests about sexual assualts on altar boys to dressing down the Chinese mafia about their use of automatic weapons, Frank Costello is an original and our #2 starter….crafty, but with still enough stuff to get the job done.

Favorite scene – Breakfast with Billy Costigan and Mr. French at his apartment


Nino Brown (New Jack City)

Basically Frank Lucas light…..but 1980’s version.

Favorite scene – When an eyeliner clad Ice T exclaims “I want to shoot you so bad my dick is hard”


Paul Cicero (Goodfellas)

Masterminded the police force for wise guys. Who knew that in real life he was messing around with Karen. He never talked to more than 6 people, too bad one of them was Henry Hill…gg.

Favorite scene – $3,200 for a lifetime…..the third stanza of Goodfellas is great and sad all at once.


Enoch Malachi “Nucky” Thompson (Boardwalk Empire)

Leading the bootlegging charged through an icon gambling city, a bright and ruthless enterpriser.

Favorite scene – Nucky killing Jimmy


CL – Anton Chigurh (No Country For Old Men)

I can’t think of a more terrifying or ruthless killer in recent memory. Nobody else uses a Captive Bolt Pistol to kill their victims and nobody so mercilessly and effortlessly gets the job done. That’s why he’s our closer.

Favorite scene – The gas station scene, where he flips a coin for the owners entire life.


Manager – Vito Corleone (Godfather)

Our skipper has to be the don of modern gangsters. There can be no other.

Favorite scene – As much as I love the original Godfather much more than Godfather II, the scene in Godfather II where he kills Don Fanucci. The basis for the empire.