The Organization

When you sit in the 108 and you’re out there 108ing like we do, people will stop by and share a drink from time to time.  And when they’re sharing that drink, sometimes they’ll share a story too or some interesting tidbit of info.  Sometimes it’s the trivia that gets thrown down by Biguns or Beefloaf or Mr Hand.  Sometimes it’s a story about Big Frank visiting a late night kitchen in Lincoln Park.  Sometimes it’s hearing about Daniel Palka’s pitching prowess.  Sometimes it’s info on an Indianapolis stripper that’s friendly with a washed out Sox reliever.  And sometimes it’s word from inside the Sox front office.  This is rare, but it happens.  And recently, we got word that the front office has been tracking a group of bloggers/tailgaters/general drunkards.  Let’s call this group “The Organization”.

This inside man gave us the low down on this probe.  He was also able to sneak us a pic of part of their bulletin board.  If you’re not on it, don’t think you’re in the clear.  There are no associates pictured at all and there is certainly a chance there are more capos and soldiers floating around.

We’ll provide info as we have it, but please do not let this deter you from coming out on Saturday September 22nd for the Crosstown Wasted Tailgate.  There are at least a few capos counting on you being there.  You wouldn’t want to disappoint them, would you?

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The 108 solves our roster issues

There has been a pressing matter throughout White Sox nation for the past weeks/months.  That matter is Eloy Jimenez not being on the major league roster.  Now, this is even more of a quandary for those of us that drink our nights away in the 108.  And the reason is that the outfield is already pretty crowded, so there is a chance that the Eloy promotion would have a corresponding move that sends 108 favorite Daniel Palka down to Charlotte.  This, at least to us, is an unacceptable result.

So we have been putting our heads together on what to do to keep him in the majors while also bringing up Eloy.   And much like Ned Flanders’s parents, we came up emtpy.

Then it happened.  The scout that discovered the mighty Daniel Palka slid into our DMs.  Now I assume you’re sitting there saying ‘I know Palka can smash the ball a million miles, so what new info could this scout provide?’  Well, we’re happy to clue you in.  In his message which was mainly about what a great person Palka is, he dropped this at the end: “He still believes he can pitch in the big leagues too.”  Palka didn’t come up through our system, so our knowledge of him is a bit limited.  We absolutely had to follow up on this.  Turns out Palka was a reliever in college and we’ll let you decide on his level of goodness in that role:

So here is what we do, we send down a reliever, actually, let’s send down 2.  We bring up Kopech and Eloy.  Send one of the starters to the pen and then fill the last spot with a combo of Matt Davidson and Palka.  We would have a left/right platoon at both reliever and DH.  And why not?  If the Sox are down 10 runs in the 8th, do you want to see Juan Minaya or do you want to see Palka and Davidson get through the final 6 of the game?

I know this sounds crazy, but is it really?  Beefloaf and I have talked about how every team needs a guy like this ever since we laid eyes on Micah Owings.  The guy had a career 4.86 ERA, but he also had a .813 OPS.  Why not have a guy on the roster that could be serviceable on the mound for the not so important innings of the year but also crank dingers from the DH or PH spot?  This probably has more value in the NL, but who knows, maybe Palka is a legit relief option.  I’d much rather try this than send him down to AAA.

Last, I’ll say that we are not terribly concerned with the extra year of control that we could get by holding Eloy and Kopech down in AAA until mid April 2019.  I mean, by the time that season rolls around Oprah and Michael Jordan will own the team and will spare no expense to keep them on the roster until they’re in their late 40s.

Big thanks to T.R. for reaching out to us!

-Chorizy-E

Tradebaitin’

It’s been a while since I posted about actual baseball, so I thought I would do something that I absolutely love to do: make predictions that won’t happen in a million years.  With a team with nearly no trade bait, let’s take a look at the trades that will be made, according to Chorizy.

Xavier Cedeno and Joakim Soria

These two bullpen pieces have been solid as of late and there are a ton of teams that will be looking for help there.  You don’t have to look outside of our division to find a playoff team with a dumpster fire of a pen.  With Andrew Miller currently out Cleveland’s bullpen is especially bad.  But even when he comes back, it won’t be enough to make them good.  So we ship not 1 but 2 relievers to the Indians so we can get an actual player in return.  I know this is a stretch, but solidifying their bullpen will come at a cost and that cost will be Bradley Zimmer.   Zimmer was a hot name with the Indians winning the starting CF job this year, but his high strike out rate landed him in AAA and now he’s on the shelf with a shoulder injury.  Might be the perfect time to buy low on Zimmer and plan for him to take on CF in 2019.

James Shields

You knew we were gonna talk about my favorite guy.  His ability to not be terrible this year has thrown him into the trade rumor mix.  Unfortunately, you’re not gonna get much for Shields and it’s going to become important to move him to make way for Michael Kopech.  So I think the Sox will be an a position where a move is forced and a team in need of a starter, ut not willing to risk much because of the strength of their division will step in.  That team is Angels.  And what will we get?  Of course, our guy Cash Considerations.

Jose Abreu

This will basically come down to who gets desperate at the deadline.  I wouldn’t be surprised if that were the Yankees with the shit season Greg Bird is having at the plate.  Looking at their prospects, Dillon Tate and Dermis Garcia look like Sox.  Tate is basically Carson Fulmer and Garcia is pretty much Matt Davidson.  Seems like the exact guys Hahn would go after once he realizes the market won’t produce a team’s top prospect.

Leury Garcia

If you have been down with anything above, I can guarantee I lose you now.   I like Leury.  I like his position flexibility.  I like his speed.  I like his contract.  But these are all things that other teams would like as well, I mean, Brandon Phillips just got picked up.  And when it comes time for a playoff run having a guy with those attributes is very helpful.  So where does he go?  I’m gonna send him to the Mariners and in return…Robinson Cano.  This sounds insane, I know.  But think about it.  Cano is now a problem for the Mariners, since when he comes back from his suspension he can contribute but he can’t play in the playoffs.  Also, he has a gigantic contract that he’s into the back half of.  After this season, he has 5/120 left on his contract, taking him to year 40.  I say the Mariners pick up at least half of that and stick with Dee Gordon at 2b.  The Sox move Cano to 3B where he can be less mobile than at 2B for the next 5 yrs.  He would have been a SS had it not been for Derek Jeter, so he should have the arm to grow old at 3B.  His type of tools age well, so you should get production out of him.  Plus, might get Jay-Z to come to a few games.

-Chorizy-E

 

The 5 – Better ways to do the Sandlot promotion

I’m not totally blaming the Sox here.  Sounds like this is a league-wide promotion and it’s probably happening the same way everywhere.  But Beefloaf and I were discussing this the other day and there are some better ways to do this.  If you don’t know what I am talking about, after the Sox game on Saturday, they played the move The Sandlot on the scoreboard.  The only concessions seemed to be popcorn and candy.  People were able to sit in their seats and watch the movie.

On the Field

Instead of doing this after a game, do this on a day when the Sox aren’t even in town and let the fans sit on the field.  You can have a limited set of tickets at a really low price and let families come in and watch the movie on the field.  This is a far better experience for the fans and there is a reason to watch it in the park instead of just watching it at home.

Before the Game

Having the movie play pre-game instead of post-game is so much better.  Get some asses in the seats early.  Sell a bunch of concessions.  At the conclusion of the movie, you can have one of the guys from the movie throw out the first pitch while Benny the Jet steals home.

Alternate Baseball Movie in the Bars

If it has to be post-game, let’s have some other baseball movies going in the bar areas.  Maybe Bull Durham or Major League.  Of course I won’t Bingo Long.  Hell, why not make this an actual thing.  Post-game Friday night movie at Chi-Sox.  Of course, they’ll close the kitchen 5 seconds after people get there and the promotion will be worthless.

Live Action

Find the 10 drunkest people in the park and give them $20 in Comiskey Cash to act out the movie in the concourse.  This will only last about 5 mins before someone goes full Diego Maradona and starts flipping people off, but it’ll be extremely entertaining.

Replace the Movie with Ozzie Guillen Video Clips

Instead of playing a movie at the end of the game, every game should end with snippets of Ozzie interviews.  When the Sox lose it should be angry Ozzie after a past loss.  After a win, you get the “winning is fung” Ozzie.  In a rain delay, you get a mix of Howard Ankin commercials and Ozzie saying things he’ll get in trouble for like stuff about Fidel Castro and Jay Marriotti.

-Chorizy-E

The One-Hitter – Jose Canseco

With the “launch” of Cansecoin this week, I’ve had one of my all time favorite players on my mind.  And then all of the sudden, I saw him get lumped into “the over the hill guys” that the Sox love to sign.  Luckily, @KenWo4LiFe was there to jump in:

And he’s right!  You may remember it differently or you may just dislike Jose Canseco, but the guy had a nice, albeit, short season with the Sox.  In a mere 76 games, he cranked 16 HR and had an OBP of .366.  You can’t be out there messing the front of your pants over Matt Davidson and then hate on Jose Canseco for doing the same shit when he was 36.  If we brought in Jose Canseco today at age 53, he’d easily be the best hitter in our outfield.

Jose, any time you want to come hang in the 108, first round of PEDs are on us.

-Chorizy-E

Welcome Back Mr. Covey

I see you out there, gingerly stepping aboard the James Shields train and I am more than happy to say welcome!  And if you’ve come this far, maybe you’re willing to come a little further.  Let’s welcome back one Mr Dylan Covey to our starting rotation.

I know what you’re thinking.  Hey Chorizy, this guy has a 7.58 career ERA.  Yes, yes he does.  But there is something about this guy that I like.  I mean, I’ve talked a lot about how it’s important to be a groundball pitcher in this park.  And you gotta feel for this kid as he was drafted by Milwaukee only to find out he was diabetic.  Then in his go around with the A’s, an injury caused issues with his development that lead him here.  Then he got hurt here.  But that’s not it, there’s just something about him.

Now, if we look at his minor league career, while it wasn’t great in the lower levels, it appears that the control kicked in at some point.  His AA and AAA numbers, although a small sample size are very good.  You could imagine that if he truly has fixed his control issues, he could be a solid back of the rotation guy or a longman out of the pen.  But I don’t think it’s his overcoming of his control issues that has me excited.  You know what, I can’t figure it out, just something about this kid that I like.

-Chorizy-E

A Marvel of a Team

Yes, this is a post about Marvel super heroes as baseball players.  Did you get the pun?!  If you didn’t like it, you might as well stop reading now because this is some total nerd shit.  But hey, I’m comfortable with that.

First off, I’m sticking to the movies here.  I don’t have the comic book knowledge to lay down an entire league of players.  And as much as I’d love to have a blind short stop, I’m gonna leave the TV shows out as well.

The Outfield

For my outfield, I’m gonna have War Machine and Iron Man in the corners and the Vision in centerfield.  Look, these guys can fly.  I don’t mean they’re fast, but they actually fly.  This seems seriously advantageous in the outfield.  I mean, look at the money Gary Matthews Jr got for that one amazing catch.  These guys would have caught that Glen Allen Hill HR that almost knocked down a building in Wrigleyville.  Not to mention, if you try to run on the Vision, he could just vaporize you with a laser from his head.

The Corners

This is also the middle of my order.  I’m going with Hulk and Thor at the corners.  They showed their ability to club shit in Ragnarok.  Not to mention, they were tossing around a bowling ball, so I figure a baseball is nothing to toss across the diamond.  We’re gonna have to put Hulk at the hot corner so he can get some balls pelted at him and keep him mad.  We have no use for Bruce Banner on this team.

Middle Infield

Baseball is the game that lends best to individual players and their talent, but the middle infield needs to work well together and needs to know what each other is going to do.  So I’m not going with mutant strength or power here, I’m going Hawkeye and Black Widow.  If you think Javy Baez has slick moves, wait’ll you see Black Widow out there.  Best is, you won’t even be ashamed about how turned on you get by watching her like you do with Baez.  We’ll put Black Widow at second base, so she’s a bit separated from Hulk.  Again, we have no use for Bruce Banner on this team, so let’s not tempt fate.

Catcher

From the looks of it, he accidentally put his shin guards on his arms in the Avengers trailer.  But we’ll get that sorted out for Captain America.  Look, the captain of the team is probably gonna be the catcher that’s been around for a good 90 years or so.  He’ll impart his wisdom on the young kids and block the shit out of that plate.

Starting Pitchers

Winter Soldier is the ace of the staff.  I mean, the guy has a metal arm that can stop bullets.  I’m pretty sure he can throw hard as fuck.  Not to mention, he’s kind of a bad guy, so he’ll have no problem backing you off the plate.  Black Panther is in the staff, with that vibranium suit and those claws, he can scuff the ball like no other and you know I am all for that.  Ant Man is next, mainly because he can throw one of those chips at the ball and make it gigantic so it just disintegrates bats.  Spider Man is already spitting webs like Peter North, so why not do the same with baseballs.  Scarlet Witch is the 5, but if you actually hit the ball off of her, she’ll just stop it in mid air and send it right back in your face.

Relief Staff

This is pretty easy.  If you need to guard a lead, you might as well get the weirdos you trust with the whole galaxy.

Closer

Dr Strange is the perfect closer.  First off, he has magical stuff.  Second, you know you wish your team had a closer that wore a cape.  Third, even if he gives up a game winner, he can just turn back time and try again.  Last, he can do that beer trick.

And obviously, Stan Lee owns the team.

-Chorizy-E

Was Jake Taylor a Terrible Person?

April 7th marks the anniversary of the release of my favorite baseball movie, Major League.  I watch it a few times a year and I love it.  And trust me when I tell you, what I am about to write doesn’t make me love the movie any less.  It simply casts Jake Taylor in a different light.  I’m still rooting for them to win and I know you will continue to as well, but we need to examine if Jake is a terrible person.

We’re gonna roll right past the fact that he felt the need to berate Dorn about missing grounders, but not about his infidelities.  And we’re gonna forget that when the pitcher he’s mentoring (who happens to be his roommate and also happens to be an ex-convict) is super depressed and is going out drinking, Jake didn’t feel the need to keep an eye on that.  We’ll chalk that up to bad decision making.  What I want to focus on is the Lynn situation.

Restaurant Encounter

While out with two of his teammates, Jake notices his girlfriend from a few years back at another table having dinner with a person who she is pretty obviously in a relationship with.  He says “That’s my wife” which leads to some funny comments from both Willie and Rick.  He then decides to go with the old “the call is coming from inside the house” trick, which women love.  All in order to try to get her phone number.  The scene is great and it’s a comedy, so you go with it.  But imagine this in a real life situation.  You’re at a dinner with people from work.  You’ve worked with a guy for 2-3 months and he’s never mentioned a wife or wore a wedding ring.  Then he looks over and claims a woman is his wife, backtracks and says, well we used to date years ago.  After that he decides he’s going to play a prank on her and demands her phone number.  I’m pretty sure you’d never hang out with that psychopath again.

Library Encounter

So apparently, he got a fake number in the previous encounter.  Therefore he did what any reasonable person would do in this situation, he showed up at her job to confront her about it.  There is nothing that says I am a stable person that just wants to be your friend like showing up at the other person’s job and getting into an argument with them.  Also during this argument, there is a laundry list of shit that lays out why Jake was such a horrible boyfriend.

The Books

One of the things he does to get back into Lynn’s good graces is he reads the books that he promised for years he would.  But does he?  Does he really?  I’m pretty sure they show him with comic book versions of these books.  This is George Costanza level.  If you did that in high school, you’d fail your ass off.

Tom’s Place

This scene is just weird in general.  I mean, Jake goes from street level directly into this dude’s apartment without so much as even a knock.  I know Cleveland has almost 0 crime, but this seems like a major security flaw of Tom’s housing.  Also, this is right after Lynn left work and yet there are a bunch of well dressed people drinking in her living room.  Not to mention, there are 3 couples there and one couple is much older and there is no explanation of that.  But all that aside, after all the previous stuff above, Jake decided the right move was to follow Lynn home after work.  This is restraining order style stuff.  Then he gives that monologue about the girl he had picked out, which ends with him basically saying “Tom, I’d really love to get back to boning your fiance”.  A class move indeed.

Lynn’s Place

Jake sees Lynn at a game, so he knows that he has to race out of the park and follow her home, again.  But there is a problem, his car is on the other side of the park.  He runs up and asks the security guard for a car.  Now, this seems kind of crazy on the surface, but the security guard doesn’t even flinch.  Maybe it’s just bad acting, but it seems to me like Jake has made this request before and the guard reacts accordingly.  Then he tells Jake to take the bullpen cart.  How many times has Jake been cruising around Cleveland in the bullpen cart.  Actually, I think this is awesome, but I digress.  So now he follows Lynn home and once again, he just walks into the house.  But this time, he turns a corner and they hook up.

In the end, Lynn shows up at the play-in game and has no wedding ring on.  This leads me to this conclusion: Lynn is actually the terrible person and Jake is simply a master tactician who not only knew to bunt in the ninth or knew that Ricky Vaughn could strike out Clu Haywood with 3 straight fastballs, but he also knew that all the ridiculous shit above was the way to Lynn’s heart.

-Chorizy-E

The One Hitter…James Shields To Start Home Opener

Due to the snowed out game today, the White Sox rotation lines up to have James Shields start the home opener on Thursday.  This is much to the dismay of most of the Sox fans I’ve seen online today.  Now, you know that I actually think Shields will have a good year, but I’ll put that aside if you can agree to really think about what you’re asking when you ask for a different starter for the home opener.

I’ve seen people suggesting today that pitching Shields for the home opener is some indication that the Sox don’t care about their fans.  This is a really strange idea to me.  What would you prefer?  Do you want Rick Hahn and Brooks Boyer to go to Rick Renteria and tell him to alter his rotation because fans don’t like the guy who lines up to start for the home opener?  Do you want Renteria to take the ball from one of his few veterans to appease fans?  I have to say, Ricky being that spineless won’t go far in the clubhouse.  But does that mean he doesn’t care about the fans?  Does it mean he doesn’t want to win?  No, it’s ridiculous to assume that.  It’s also ridiculous to assume that he should take the feelings of the fans into account when he’s trying to manage the team.

On top of that, the current rotations line up to be James Shields v Jordan Zimmerman, Lucas Giolito v Michael Fulmer, and Reynaldo Lopez v Francisco Liriano.  I personally wouldn’t want anyone else in the rotation to go against Michael Fulmer.  So if you don’t like the opening day starter, sell those tickets and come to Saturday’s game.  We’ll be there trying to drink beers before they freeze, please join us.

-Chorizy-E

The 5 – New Food Predictions (Special Guest Post by Simpossible)

Simpossible has been a huge 108 supporter for awhile. He attended a Baderbrau tailgate and has crashed the 108 several times. Most recently he attended SoxFest18 with MSS, sorry about that man! His first blog is a keeper, read on-

The season is quickly approaching but there is always one big event between now and the April 5th home opener – media day. Every year, members of the Chicago journalism community secure their golden ticket to a tour of Brooks Boyer and the Baseball Factory. They showcase new upgrades to the stadium and discuss promotions but there’s one main attraction: the food. Last year the Sox debuted a 16” mac & cheese grilled cheese brisket, a chocolate gyro, the Wok Off, and oh yes, the Craft Kave. This year, we’ll try to get ahead of the curve and predict some new items that might debut.

Moncada’s Empanadas – The 108ers already wrote about the alleged existence of empanada’s at Sox park. Sounds like a good time to remarket with a brand new spokesperson. Empanadas have to be healthier than Twinkies, just imagine what would happen if Yoan Moncada ate a box of empanadas instead of a box of Twinkies every day. He’d probably look… the same because he’s already the most jacked monster to ever roam the earth. The point being, empanadas are versatile, tasty, and portable. They deserve to be at the G-Rate.

Nicky D’s Breaded SteakNicky Delmonico was a sensation last year with the stats to match. He’s deserving of repping one of Chicago’s famed Italian dishes – the breaded steak sandwich. To honor Nicky’s refined palette, for an extra charge it can be topped with his favorite food: chicken fingers.

Charlie Tilson Chicken Wings – Meat tears right off the bone, which may be fractured in several spots. They’re available for the 2018 season but don’t count on ever getting any.

The Jose Abreu Saladino – For our healthier fans that lost 15 pounds this off-season and actually want to keep it off, this option features arugula, toasted almonds, cranberries, and skinless chicken strips. These ingredients are then put into a meat grinder, rolled into a ball, deep fried in funnel cake oil, and topped with nacho cheese.

Shield’s Meals – For the bargain shoppers. Any leftover foods from the game before compiled into a bowl and thrown out there because it’s a rebuild year, even for the chefs.

All of the items above has gone through a very successful pilot program with one participant. Below is a before and after photo.

-Simpossible