MySoxSummer Breaks Down Christmas Beers

Yo.  As we continue the Section 108 12 Days of Xmas, let’s review some Christmas beers!  Right?  Sounds like a great fucking time.  You’d think, but honestly, most Christmas beers suck.  For reals.  But there are a few exceptions.

1- Bent River – Jingle Java – Holiday Stout.  

I love this beer.  Might be my favorite holiday stout of all time.  Bent River is a small brewery in the Quad Cities that makes some excellent beers.  Their Uncommon Stout is a wonderful beer too, and this is basically the same with coffee. vanilla, pecan. cinnamon, caramel and rum added.  I once (pre-kid) bought a case and a half of this beer just to drink through the holidays.  And I guarded those like my life depended on it, went all Elaine on people ” Are you Jingle Java worthy?”  Most were not.  I highly recommend picking up a 6 of this if you can find it.

 

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2- Baderbrau – Christmas Bliss – Baltic Porter.  

When I found out that our buds at Baderbrau were making a Christmas beer I wasn’t all that hyped.  Mostly because I don’t care much for Christmas beers, as mentioned above, so when I finally had a can of Christmas Bliss I almost needed to change my pants.  This beer is excellent and I have bought several 6’ers (4 or 5 to be exact) to get me though this holiday season.  Easily my 2nd favorite dark beer they have done, Dry Schwarz is my #1 jam.  So if you live in the city, get your ass to the brewery or Mariano’s and pick up a 6’er of this for your holiday party.  Or for Christmas morn when you are trying to deal with all the excitement.

 

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3- 3 Floyds – Alpha Klaus – Christmas Porter.  

Until I had a Bliss, this was my go to Christmas porter.  It’s hoppy as fuck, as most 3F brews are, but has some sweet notes on the finish.  Just a great brew all around.  I gave out bombers of this brew to all my groomsmen cause that is how I roll.  Great beer, I highly suggest picking this one up too.

 

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A seasonal beer that I could include, but it isn’t a true Christmas beer, is Founders Breakfast Stout.  That beer, in 2010 really launched me into the whole craft beer scene.  If you haven’t picked up a 4pk of this delish oatmeal/coffee stout, you should.  It’s story time!

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So in 2010 I had just moved back to Illinois from lovely California.  I spent a summer listening to the White Sox staying on the river crushing High Life like there was no tomorrow.  Young MSS was a huge Bud Light fan, HUGE.  But Young MSS also loved Guinness.  Young MSS didn’t make the correlation that a stout is a style of beer.  He wasn’t the smartest, as California has some incredible beers that he should have been drinking during his 7 years out there.  But alas he did not.

So one night, one of my favorite bands of all time the Smoking Popes, was playing a Quad City institute, RIBCO and upon my arrival, I asked the bartender for a coffee stout.  He said they didn’t have one, but this Breakfast Stout was pretty good.  Once it hit my lips, I was all like Frank The Tank going nuts! I had one, then went back for another and noticed halfway through my 2nd one that he ABV was a bit higher than most beers so I capped myself of this liquid gold at 32oz.

After that, my father and I split a case of Breakfast Stout for the winter, and I tried about every coffee stout I could get my hands on.  It really started me down my path of liking the good beers.

 

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Well, that is it folks, I haven’t had a notable Christmas beer that I feel deserves a review or a shout from me, good or bad.  Have a favorite that you think I should try?  Send me a link, or better yet, buy me a fucking beer!

Merry New Year!

-MySoxSummer

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Is Die Hard a Christmas Movie?

Whenever people talk about their favorite Christmas movies, without fail, someone will say Die Hard.  And that will be followed by someone else saying it’s not a Christmas movie.  So, as we continue the Section 108 12 days of Xmas, let’s break it down and see what we find.

What is the main story?

The story revolves around two characters.  John and Holly are a married but separated couple.  They live across the country from one another and they’re going to see each other for the first time in what seems to be at least months.  They meet up at a Christmas party and through a series of unfortunate events and adventures, they realize they love one another more than they thought.  Their story ends with them cuddled under a blanket holding back tears as they embrace.  That’s a pretty Hallmark style Christmas story if you ask me.  Yeah sure, I didn’t mention all the murder and terrorists and shit, but I also didn’t mention the Christmas miracle that Theo and Hans experience.

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Is Christmas important to the plot?

There really isn’t another time of year when a company would have a party at their office where spouses are invited and there is nobody else in the building.  And that is pretty key to everything in the plot.  If it’s just a company party in the summer, John is most likely not there being the fly in the ointment.  The building would probably have other people in it which would make locking down the building way more difficult.  So yes, the Christmas party sets the stage for the whole damn movie.

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What else is Christmasy about the movie?

When the elevator opens to Tony dead in a Santa hat and a note written on his shirt, it leads Hans to read “Ho Ho Ho” in his brilliant accent.  This is a great Christmas moment.

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John uses Season’s Greetings tape to hide his gun.  If that’s brown packing tape, it’s nowhere near as cool.

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There is Christmas music in the movie.  Including one of my favorites “Christmas in Hollis”.

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Conclusion

Die Hard is a Christmas movie.  Just because it’s so damn good you can watch it any time during the year should not disqualify it from being a Christmas movie.

BeefLoaf’s Xmas List for @NotRickHahn

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Good day friends, why don’t you come on in…..to kick off the Section 108 12 days of Xmas it is time for me to present my Xmas list…….NO! Not that one…..Santa has his fucking letter already and he already responded that he wanted a glass of some of the delicious grape juice I have chilling in the cellar.  Nope, this is my annual list for @NotRickHahn, effectively my White Sox list.  Long, long before we had the 108 blog, but during the time in which most of the 108ers were going to games together, I took to Facebook (it’s a social media site, maybe you’ve heard of it) and threw an overt wish out there to Hahn, the White Sox and all the rest of the world to get rid of Gordon Beckham.  That wish was granted, although they did bring him back.  So now it has become an annual tradition, whether privately or publicly (this year obviously publicly or the dozens of you that read this wouldn’t be reading this)……anyway, got a song about it, here it go.
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DFA Matt Davidson – Look, this kid has great hair, there is absolutely no fucking doubt about that.  Getting rid of him will decline the handsome quotient….aka the Q factor on this squad, but truth be told, we don’t need him.  I just don’t see what your best outcome really is here.  He really can’t play 3b, he’s basically a 1b and you can go out in the open market and buy Lucas Duda, who is basically what you’d hope Davidson would become as a hitter, for the money you find between the cushions of your couch.  It just doesn’t make sense.  Give Yolmer the 3b job for this year, or trade for someone, or sign someone, but please to be telling Matt Davidson to move it along.  To me, this looks like Dayan Viciedo, the White Sox will cut him and before you know it, he’s wiped off the face of the major leagues.
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Install Netting – This is long, long over due and won’t effect sight lines in any measurable way, but you need to get that fucking netting installed asap!!!  I know there are groups of fans against this, but too bad, let’s protect those smaller fans that don’t have time to react to a line drive hit right at them (and the drunk ones that might not have perfect motor skills by the 3rd inning).  If god forbid one of our youngsters gets seriously injured by a line drive this year, because you and fat ass sat on your hands regarding this, I’m coming up there to whip your ass, like Da Coach offered to do to Neal from Northlake.
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Competitive Advantage – It is all fine and well that you traded the big honkin’ burnin’ good parts of the last White Sox team for younger talented pieces, but this isn’t a competitive advantage.  EVERYONE COULD DO THIS.  What I want, and maybe you have discovered it already and we (the fans) won’t figure it out for a few years, but I want a REAL COMPETITIVE ADVANTAGE.  Ten years from now, I want these mutherfuckers writing books about how clever you and the rest of the front office were in finding this inefficiency, this new way of looking at things, this breakthrough that lead the White Sox to 5 straight playoff appearances and 2 World Series titles.  As us fans go through the hardest part of the rebuild, I want to have some faith that you’ll deliver this to me, if not this Xmas, some Xmas in the future.

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Join the 108ers for a Sunday Soak – Look, I’m told you know when we are sleeping and you know when we’re awake and you know when we’ve been bad or good or talking shit about the White Sox, so you gotta know about the Sunday Soak, for goodness sake.  I’m sure one of your minions has told you, hey, there’s these super handsome guys who sit in Section 108 of the ballpark that do a blog where they occasionally talk about the White Sox, but usually talk about awesome stuff like food and booze and gambling and stuff.  We need you in the Sunday Soak this season!!!  There are a few conditions…..1) We take twitter questions, no matter what the content.  2) Bonita Steakie WILL make fun of you when we ask her 5 questions during the middle of the show……3) You WILL crush Baderbrau beers with us!!!  Doesn’t that sound like a lot of fun and although you’ll be swimming around in MySoxSummer’s plush back hair, there are rarely any floaters in the tub.
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Come on, I was good all year, including going out to watch that heaping pile you threw out there over 60 times in 2017.
– BeefLoaf

The White Sox signed Welington Castillo

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Hey! Hey!! The White Sox made a move…….yep, all that talk about the Hot Stove not kicking off until Stanton’s and Ohtani’s situations were resolved was total bullshit as there was a non-DiPoto trade and our White Sox signed Welington Castillo.  The deal is 2 years and $15M with a team option for 2020 that is worth $8M (500K buyout, which is included in the original $15M).
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The 108ers love this move, well, I mean, we love any move that improves the product of the team we’ll be watching 162 times in 2018, but its more than that………
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Depth – We’ve touched on this before in the #SundaySoak and in general conversations in the 108, but, Kevan Smith and Omar Narvaez, as well as they played last year, are really #2 catchers at best and truthfully…..on a really good team, they are #3 catchers that you have sitting at AAA awaiting an injury (or worse).  Good solid guys that can do a few things in the majors, but you don’t want to have to count on them for 100 starts a year.  Playoff teams NEED those guys in their system and now with Welington Castillo taking over the #1 catching duties, we’ll have that adequate depth.  In fact, the best case scenario is by 2020 when the Sox are the class of the AL Central, Collins is starting (or Seby Zavala) with Castillo as the #2 catcher and Narvaez chilling at AAA….JUST…..IN……..CASE.  Great franchises have that depth.  I like that it is starting to develop for our White Sox.
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DON’T WORRY (BE HAPPY) – The people out there stumping for Smith and Narvaez, don’t worry, they still project to play quite a bit.  Castillo’s main knock is that he won’t start 120 times, so we’ll need these other guys as well.  The mix of the three should be quite productive, especially if they utilize Narvaez LH bat against tough RHP.
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White Sox fans – I saw a fair amount of “we didn’t need to do this, Smith and Narvaez had decent years”………while I don’t disagree that they had good years (for them), looking to upgrade the roster, particularly as the White Sox ramp up to being a contender is a must.  Also, as White Sox fans, we should look at it positively from both perspectives.  YES, those guys did look pretty good and YES we have also brought in another guy along with these guys we already have to make the position an overall strength.
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Pipeline – Signing Castillo (potentially through 2020) and having control over Smith and Narvaez over that same time period allows for generous heaps of development time (Generous Heaps of Development Time sounds like an old REM song) for Collins and Zavala.  That’s what the end of the rebuild should look like, the White Sox should be bursting at the seems with talent at various positions…..this was the first step towards that at Catcher.
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Now Rick Hahn just needs to trade for Evan Longoria
– BeefLoaf

2018 White Sox Promotions: Initial List Bitch Session

Hola and Happy Holidays Fuckers! What’s great about saying Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas is that you piss off a certain faction of people that really like to complain about people getting offended so easily.  It’s great.  To me it’s about being lazy and encompassing all of the December holidays into one. And I will tell ya Merry Christmas on Christmas if you happen to text or see me.  But don’t send me a message on Twitter cause I never check that shit.

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So if all the sexual assault news hasn’t really put you on the edge this holiday season (and a soon to be father of 2 girls, lord help the guy who dares do any of this bullshit to either of my daughters) the White Sox have released the initial promo list.  One word describes this – HO-FUCKING-HUM.

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Listen, last year was a banner year for promotions, I give props when props are due.  You can read my list here, but you all should know that I love me some giveaways. Now, I know that the good stuff will be announced closer to when the individual tickets go on sale, but this list is just lacking all the components that made last year so successful (at least in terms of cool shit).  Let’s dissect the good ones (Note: No pictures yet, so good is a relative term as of now).

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1 – $1 Hot Dog Wednesdays, Free T-Shirt Thursdays

Fuck yes.  A whole season of $1 dogs?  If those t-shirts didn’t fit me before, they sure as hell won’t now.  Two solid giveaways that the Sox did last year that really are awesome.  Last year they moved away from the player shirts, but look for a couple this year with the new guys.  Glad to see these two back.

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2 – White Sox Quarter-Zip Pullover

This is interesting enough, so I deem it good.  Much like the hooded t-shirt, this should be cool. I hope.  I am 100% sure it won’t fit 90% of the 108, but that is ok.  Who knows, maybe they’ll make some in our size.

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Well that’s it, the rest sucks.  Really.  It sucks.  Let’s look at the first losers.

1 – White Sox Winter Hat

Been there done that like 2 years in a row.  This could be salvaged if it is a sweet hat, like a cool one.  But it will be Cousin Eddie style, cheaper quality than last years, which was lesser quality than the first year.  I don’t hold out much hope for this fitting my huge ass dome either.

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2 – Los White Sox Soccer Jersey

Last year it was cool cause it was unique. This year it lacks imagination.  It will be white or grey, instead of black, but same old thing as last year.  Why not make a hockey jersey?  Or a football jersey?  Or give us a fucking bat like they did back in the olden days.  And bat day should be during the Cubs series when the 108ers are NOT in attendance.  To kinda quote an old Chris Rock “Nat X” bit, “The 108ers don’t wanna be around a Cubs fan with a bat”.

Here’s Nat X’s “Top 5 Reasons Brothers don’t play hockey”:

  • Reason #5: It’s cold out there.
  • Reason #4: They scared to get their gold tooth knocked out.
  • Reason #3: Don’t want to be around white guys with sticks.
  • Reason #2: Don’t want to be around a white guy with a mask.
  • …and the #1 Reason Black Guys Don’t Play Hockey: Don’t feel the need to dominate yet another sport. 

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3 – White Sox Hawaiian Floppy Hat

Ugh.  Hawaiian?  Know how many White Sox fans have been to Hawaii? Like 32.  And half of them were on their honeymoon so they didn’t even pay for it.  You know where floppy hats are popular?  Yep, up NORTH. Eff those guys.  Now, I have a couple floppy hats because of 2 reasons. 1 – I am a fat guy who sweats alot.  The hat comes in handy on hot as fuck days in the sun.  I guess only one reason, that is the only reason it is acceptable to wear the hat.  You will NEVER see a 108 floppy hat.  Fucking never.

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4 – Weather Day

Why? Fucking why? They drag all these kids out there under the pretense of watching a baseball game.  But then Tom Skilling shows up and starts lecturing them about the sun, moon, clouds, yada, yada, yada. Did any of you see Tom when the eclipse happened?  Dude was speechless and he cried.  Straight up cried with some hippie in southern Illinois at a campground.  The hippie hugged him too, it was lovely.  Had there been a double rainbow, Tom would have needed to change his pants.

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5 – Dog Day

This is always a fun day for most people, but BeefLoaf wants some pussy.  “Equal rights for pussy!” he’s always yelling.  TWO goddamn Dog Days not a single day for the cats.  We in the 108 are very pussy friendly and we respect the pussy, best recognize.  BeefLoaf has the best cats as they stay the fuck away from everyone except one of them, Cappuccino.  “Cappi” seems nice enough but for years I have been warned about his assholeness, so I stay the fuck away.  Pinky seems cool, but that cat is young and all over the place.  And there is one more that you never see and therefore he is my favorite and I have no idea what his name is.

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So there you have it, a rundown on the most recently announced 2018 promos.  For my Christmas gift from the White Sox, I’d like to see Yoan Moncada and Tim Anderson bobbleheads.  Maybe a Giolito and Lopez bobble too!  I know Timmy sucked it up last year but the guy needs one.  Yoan is a no brainer.  Maybe an old player too, like Ron Karkovice.  Ok, ok, I know I am asking for a lot of bobbles but half of them will be special releases, so yeah, no worries you’ll still get a shitty hat that doesn’t fit us fat head folks.

-MySoxSummer

Big thanks to 4 of our fans for braving the cold and their shyness to come up to me and #WallyMoney at the White Sox Holiday Sale.  It was one for the ages.  Enjoy your free #JerseyDemolition shirt and make your friends buy one for the LOW LOW PRICE OF $20 SHIPPED. Yep, shipped to your door.  Go here to buy one!

 

Shohei Ohtani to the White Sox!?!?!?

Good day friends, it’s your pal BeefLoaf here.  As you might imagine, the 108ers are eagerly awaiting Giancarlo Stanton and Shohei Ohtani finding their new destinations as it is gumming up the works of the rest of the 2017 Hot Stove.  Once those two are done, then we can see what shrewd moves our White Sox are going to complete.  So, I was surprised when friend of the 108, and long-time TEAM CHORIZY proponent @NotRickHahn dropped an assignment in the 108ers lap.  He asked us to “handle” the Shohei Ohtani questions.  For those not in the know, Shohei Ohtani’s management team sent around 7 questions for MLB teams to answer.  Why are we getting this assignment? Two reasons.  1. @NotRickHahn likes crushing churros and making deals, he don’t like questionnaires. 2. The White Sox have the least money possible to offer Ohtani, now this may not make that big of a difference, but let’s face it, there’s very little chance he’s coming here anyway, so why have your big money people working on this? Why not have some season ticket holders that may or may not be hitting the eggnog a little early, handle it?

Here is the list……

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I tried to enlist Chorizy-E to help me with this task, but when we got to question #1, he went all Barbara Billingsley translating in Airplane, so I realized we really couldn’t use it. We are racially and culturally sensitive here at the 108 and we can’t have any of those types of shenangians.

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1. Evaluate Ohtani’s Talent as a Pitcher and as a Hitter

Answer: We’ve really only seen video of you playing, but you’re a terrific player.  I hate to insinuate the motive for a particular question, but I think what you are really asking here is, will we let you hit in addition to just pitching for our club?  The answer to that is…FUCK YEA!  You see our last full-time DH was this guy 悪い

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Before that, was this guy 悪い

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and now, some people want us to play this guy at DH again this season…..悪い

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So obviously, you can hit anytime you aren’t pitching or prepping to pitch.

2. Explain Their Player Development

Answer: 

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3. Medical Training and Player-Performance Philosophies

Answer: Oh, this is an easy one……for overall health, we have this healthy looking guy manning the ship.

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And specifically for your arm health, we have this fine specimen on the case.

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108 Fun Fact – Our very own MySoxSummer owns this actual jersey.

 

Lastly, we have the best food of any stadium on the planet, so you’ll get plenty of calories to nourish your growing body.

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4. Description of Minor League and Spring Training Facilities

Answer: Let’s face it, you won’t ever see any of those minor league stadiums assuming you stay healthy and with the super healthy dudes I mentioned above, I don’t see how that isn’t a lock.  Our Spring Training facility is shared with the LA Dodgers, so you know its gotta be pretty cool.  Also, I heard that there is an Indian Casino not that far from the facility.  Not that I am insinuating that an asian fella like yourself might fancy gambling, but just know it is there if you need it.

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5. Resources for Ohtani’s Cultural Assimilation into Their City

Answer: First thing to know about America is that people here think all Hispanic people are Mexican and all Asian people are Chinese.  And….OH SHIT!!  The ballpark is RIGHT NEXT TO CHINATOWN!  And before you say San Fran has a better Chinatown, you’ll probably only be making like $20 million a year, so you’ll be priced out of San Fran and have to live in Oakland.  And as far as other asian influences in our town just wait, what with all of the nail salons and massage parlors.  You know, I can’t say I have actually tried this, but I have heard that these massage parlors allow you to put a $20 bill up in addition to your massage fee to let you “see what happens” if you know what I mean.  Given your signing bonus with the White Sox, you’ll have 15,000 $20 bills, so you know what that means.

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108 Pro Tip – Happiness is a place for food, not fun, DO NOT TRY THE $20 TRICK HERE. If you ever need a police officer, you can find one here 24-7.

6. Vision for How Ohtani Could Integrate into the Organization

Answer: Look, we have lots of good clubhouse guys, but every team is going to tell you that, so we have gone the extra “length” it takes to sign a big boy free agent like yourself and we are re-signing Mr. Clubhouse, Juan Uribe.  No, he doesn’t speak Japanese, but this mutherfucker speaks the language of FUN!!!

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7. Tell Ohtani Why Their Team is a Desirable Place to Play

Answer: Chicago is a very fun place to live, except for all the violence and the terribly cold winters and the political corruption and the high taxes…..but otherwise, its a very cool place to live.  Besides, you don’t want to go to LA, you saw what they did to Nakatomi Tower.

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– BeefLoaf

The White Sox should trade for Evan Longoria

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect).”

― Mark Twain

I have no clue if Mark Twain actually said this, nor do I care, but it seems to effectively sum up one of the reasons that people like to hear from the 108ers.  We feed it to you straight and it might not be what you are reading from the waves of other White Sox blogs or fan pages. Now, this isn’t an edict to strictly be contrarian, that’s not the point.  The point is that you can think through something, come to a conclusion that does not line up with the consensus, and it can still be a reasonable conclusion.  In fact, it might be a MORE reasonable conclusion than the consensus, particularly if you haven’t allowed the consensus to inhibit your thinking.
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Mark Twain getting ready for the #SundaySoak
This is just an ethos or a way of looking at the world.  If you sit in the 108 and we discuss ANYTHING, you will have a dissenting viewpoint among the group members.  Whether it be, MLB rules, or Van Halen vs Van Hagar, or Best Seinfeld character, you aren’t likely to get a consensus from the group…….that’s just the way we roll.
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You are probably reading and saying “BeefLoaf, when the fugg you gonna talk about Evan Longoria”….don’t worry, it’s coming, I’ll land this plane sooner or later.

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During a recent Sunday Soak, which you should be watching each time we do it, because what’s better than three half naked 108ers talking baseball and bullshit in a hot tub moderately sauced (read, incredibly hammered)……so anyway, during a recent Sunday Soak, yours truly wanted to talk a little 2018 White Sox and in doing so, I really wanted to tackle the problem that is 3rd base….not these guys….
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But these guys…..

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There are essentially three camps for the future White Sox 3rd base job….
Jake Burger truthers – The folks that have Jake Burger penciled in as an all star who is jumping in the crowd to catch pop ups and coming out with a hot dog in his mouth like Rosie O’Donnell’s character in A League of Their Own, Doris Murphy.  That would be PEAK Jake Burger, but I can’t say I feel this is a realistic outcome.

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Jerry Reinsdorf will spend copious amounts of greenbacks when the time is right! – The folks in this crowd always point out the Albert Belle signing as an example of a time when Jerry and crew went out and spent.  While this is true, it was coming off of a time when the owners colluded to keep free agent player salaries down, so that was a significantly depressed market.  It was a very advantageous time to be a big spender.  When the 2018 class of free agents hits the market, it’s not going to be a great time to be a big spender.  The Yankees, Red Sox, Dodgers, Cubs will all have tons of $$$ to spend, and so will other non-YUGE market teams that tend to outspend the White Sox.  Could the White Sox land a big free agent like Josh Donaldson?  Possibly, but they’ll need some additional flaws in his player profile to pop up between now and then that will make him less palatable to the other teams.  Oh and he’ll still cost a lot and the Sox will make a BIG DEAL about the signing, even if he’s the 7th highest paid FA of that market.  This take seems reasonable, but I fear its not likely to occur.

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Next is the group that I am in and which lead me to Evan Longoria (despite what people on www.twitter.com would tell you, I don’t haz a man-crush on him)……Realists who are going to pick from everything that is left – This isn’t a fun group to be in.  As I go through the choices below, you may laugh, you may cry, you may even barf….but you won’t be delighted with the choice, that’s for sure….

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Deplorables – David Wright, Chase Headley, Ron Santo, Martin Prado, David Freese & Matt Davidson
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David Wright’s rehab is right on schedule
Untouchables – Kris Bryant, Justin Turner, Manny Machado, Josh Donaldson, Jose Ramirez, Anthony Rendon, Kyle Seager, Adrian Beltre & Matt Carpenter
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What’s left – Yunel Escobar, Todd Frazier, Yolmer Sanchez, Mike Moustakas & Evan Longoria
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I’ll miss Yolmer, for obvious reasons
Believe it or not, someone was telling me to toss my man crush on Evan Longoria and that Matt Davidson was a much better choice for the White Sox 3b job.  The people in that first group (“Deplorables” $1 POTUS Donald J. Trump) in general are pretty lousy.  The people in the next group are folks you just won’t be able to acquire, you either can’t afford them in FA or you can’t afford them in trade.  The 3rd group, (“What’s left”) is where I picked ole boy Evan.  You’ll see that the 3 lists aren’t 100% exhaustive, the White Sox might unearth some twice failed prospect that is off the radar and put them at 3rd and score, who knows.  I’m not in player personnel and this article is for entertainment purposes only so we won’t be going down that road.  I’ll go through this list individually and quickly so you get my thought process:
Yunel Escobar – He’s old af, but he can still kinda hit if not play 3b that well anymore.  I think he might be the most likely outside of the org person to man the position in 2018.  He’ll be cheap, but he’s old already and likely won’t be worth a shit in 18 months.

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Todd Frazier – The previous White Sox corner man…..he should also be cheap (not Yunel Escobar cheap, but then again who is?), but in 18 months he might not be worth a shit either.  I always liked Todd, but his walk rate flying up as it has, might be a guy who is aging and losing bat speed, which would mean he could be done soon….I dunno.  What I do know, is he really hasn’t hit the last couple of years and his defense is also declining.  Maybe if we get him another t-shirt he’d perk up and make signing him reasonable.

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Yolmer Sanchez – The incumbent.  I wouldn’t hate Yolmer at 3b for 2018, but no playoff contender is going to have Yolmer manning 3b for a whole season.  I still think his highest and best value is in trade.  He is a fan favorite and a BeefLoaf favorite, because I caught his HR ball on August 26th.

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Mike Moustakas – I actually like Moose.  He’s okay at 3b on defense and he hits bombs.  He’s fairly young, but I just feel he might cost a lot and fam, he don’t walk either.  If he would turn out to be as cheap as Longoria, I could be talked into this as a reasonable option, but I suspect he’ll get moar.

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Evan Longoria – Have you ever seen the movie “Let It Ride”? In the final stanza, the lead character Jay Trotter, played by Richard Dreyfuss, goes around asking people who they liked in the final race of the day (this is horse racing, not NASCAR).  He compiles a list of everyone’s touts and then bets the money he’s been winning all day on the one horse that nobody chose.  That’s kind of what Evan Longoria is here.  Other than our big homey Aloha Mr. Hand, I can’t think of anyone else touting Longoria.  Everyone is picking every other unrealistic and / or terrible choice, but here we are.  Longoria is owed $81M over 5 years and the Rays would love to dump that money.  He’s 32, he’s averaged ~3.5 WAR the last several years…….he still plays defense……he still hits (he doesn’t hit like young Evan that was an MP3 threat, but he still hits fine).  With his contract running through 2022, he’s the type of player that could still be very good then….or he could be okay and still holding down 3b, or he could be a veteran bench bat on a team that suddenly has a good young 3b.  I’m sure he could pick up some reps at 1b when needed.  He checks the boxes, which is why I sort of like this idea.

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Oh BeefyLoaf, how do thee assume we procure Evan Longoria?  I would think that a cost controlled player with one good tool would be enough to interest the Rays.  Me thinks, Adam Engel and eating the entire contract would do it.
Got some ideas for the 2018 and going forward White Sox, hit us up on the Twitters and we’ll have some conversation about it.  We’ll even force MySoxSummer to have an opinion.
– BeefLoaf

Current Events with Chorizy-E – Chorizy vs Predator

This is not a baseball post

As you may or may not know, I was/am a big fan of To Catch a Predator.  So much so that I donated to Chris Hansen’s kickstarter to get it back on the air.  I was rewarded with episodes of Hansen vs Predator as well as an awesome fucking mug.  But the one thing I don’t like about the show is that you never find out what kind of punishment was handed down to the creeps on the show that are trying to have sex with children.  With all the news coming out about sexual predators, I figured we should think of some creative punishments for the creeps filling our news feeds.  And to be clear, we’re assuming the guilt of all of these guys, because the post doesn’t really work without doing that.

Louis CK

This one is really weird to me, not because there is a creepy guy out there, but more because of the method.  What the hell is the end game in jerking off in front of other people?  Well, regardless, we need to punish this guy.  Now, he has come out and admitted that he did this and that he has a problem.  It was very Andy Petitte/Jason Gimabi-esque.  So let’s give him some help.  My buddy The Enigma got some horns implanted into his head a few years, so why can’t we implant some sandpaper into Louis CK’s hands.  I mean, I can’t think of a better way to help him keep his hands off himself.  So unless he figures out how to use his feet like Marty Huggins, I think we’ve fixed the glitch.  Also, if the surgery is successful, just imagine the baseball scuffing possibilities!

Roy Moore

First off, how do you get banned from a mall.  I grew up going to Ford City so I’ve seen some crazy mall shit go down, but that’s a post for a different day.  So this guy was in his thirties creeping on young teens.  That’s fucked up enough, but then the story that came out about him with the 14 year old is just goddamn awful.  Since this guy will soon be a senator, I wanted to think of someone in the political realm that could help us out, but it’s hard to think of someone significantly older than Moore.  What I am thinking here is that each day before he goes to his job of senating, he first stops off in a dark room in the Capitol building where George HW Bush is waiting to do some heavy petting on Roy.  I don’t think I need to say more to turn your stomach, so just enjoy that.

Al Franken

While we’re on the US Senate, let’s talk about Al Franken.  This one gets a bit glossed over since some of the people later on this list have been far more horrible to female actors, but this deserves punishment nonetheless.  I think what we do here, is cast Al Franken to be in a movie with the Rock.  And in said movie, they have to kiss.  Oh the hilarity of that awkward moment.  But hey, you have to rehearse, so let’s go through that.  Each day after the Rock has eaten his daily dose of 2 lbs of cod and whatever other gross shit is on his diet, well then it is time to rehearse.  Franken is forced to kiss the Rock for as long as the Rock deems necessary.  Oh did I mention that the Rock is on the toilet at this time?  We really want Franken to smell what the Rock is cooking.

Kevin Spacey

Spacey is accused of sexually harassing a 14 year old boy, similar to Roy Moore.  Part of his apology was that he is gay, which I am unsure of how that relates to pedophilia.  It would be like if my wife said “You came home from the Sox game, threw up in the refrigerator and threw the TV off the balcony.”  To which I would respond “Well, I do love baseball.”  So what can we do with Kevin, since we probably do want a few more movies out of him and if Roy Moore gets to be a senator, he should get to be an actor (prob not any disney network shows).   I know you are probably thinking about that strap on from Seven, but we’re merciful people and this doesn’t carry a death sentence.  Instead, in between acting, we put him in a gimp suit and lock in a box in Maynard and Zed’s basement.

Harvey Weinstein

On to the producer of the movie we were just talking about.  This guy is the crème de la crème of creeps.  Jerking off in front of others is only one of the disgusting weapons in his arsenal.  You can read all about him on the interwebs, so I’ll let you do that yourself.  I’m sure you’ll share my feelings on him even if you’re not married to an actor.

For this guy, I decided we should pull something from a movie that he did not produce, but is a favorite of the 108: Boogie Nights.  I’m sure you remember more about Burt Reynolds and Marky Mark, but lest we forget the tale of the Colonel.  It seemed to be going so well for him producing all these films and taking advantage of his position in doing so.  It sounds very familiar, so let’s end it just the same.

If you read this whole post, thanks for letting me vent.

-Chorizy-E

The 108ers NEED. YOUR. HELP!

Good day friends, its your old pals the 108ers reaching out to YOU for a little help this holiday season.  As you all know, there are tons of characters that make up the extended 108 family, well beyond your usual favorites that appear here in these blog posts or in the #SundaySoak or in pictures on Twitter.  One of our extended family members and long time friend of the 108ers could use a little of your holiday cheer ($$$) in a time of need.  In return for your help in this matter, the 108ers (as we like to do) are going to give back something to the community (other than our bodacious bods in a hot tub talking sports).
 
Our pal, PC Jonny is going to undergo a difficult and serious surgery with a long recovery path.  Below is his GoFundMe set up by another friend of the 108.  We are asking for a small donation to help him out in his time of need.  Whatever you can find between your couch cushions would work, skipping picking up those 2 McRibs and tossing that money at this GoFundMe would be fucking swell.  So skip your daily coffee or a couple of days of your Brazzers subscription and toss a few bucks to our buddy.
 https://www.gofundme.com/jonnegrette
We ask that you donate, retweet this article or any tweet with the GoFundMe in it AND tag us on twitter / facebook so we know its you.
 
In return for your tremendous generosity, you will get the following….
1. Our excellent content (which is always free and will always be free)
2. We’ll shout you out in the next #SundaySoak
3. A chance to WIN the 108 Starter Kit!!!!!!!
I know what you are saying.  What in the fuck is the 108 Starter Kit, well, funny you should ask, the following items are included in the 108 Starter Kit and featured below……
  • Obviously a 108 shirt or two
  • Fake Rolex from MadMex
  • Drink chip from Baderbrau
  • Miscellaneous sports cards (probably commons)
  • Fridge Perry GI Joe character
  • Some other mystery gifts from MySoxSummer and Chorizy-E’s personal collections

So, take a few moments out of your day and drop a few bucks for our buddy PC Jonny to help him out in his time of need.
 
– BeefLoaf, Biguns, Chorizy-E, MySoxSummer and Slumpbuster

The 5 – Thanksgiving Foods

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This is your pal BeefLoaf and I bring you, THE 5, Thanksgiving Foods.  As some of you may know, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.  This isn’t an anti-Christmas thing (although truth be told, I do go with Xmas most of the time because I am lazy…..Mrs. BeefLoaf’s family would do the old CHRISTmas thing, but they realize I’m not the one to bother with all of that so whatevs)……I actually really enjoy Xmas too, but not as much as Thanksgiving.  Thanksgiving has the gathering of family / friends, but without the presents, just the food….and the booze.  You get together, share a meal, watch some football, it’s terrific.  In honor of my numero uno holiday (other than the White Sox Home Opener), I bring you the 5.
 christmas stuffing with cranberry and bacon
5 – Stuffing – A Thanksgiving staple and a delicious treat.  To be honest, most stuffings aren’t worth a damn, but BeefLoaf’s Mama makes the boss stuffing, she uses bacon or sausage or both and its a mutherfucking delicious.  I wish I was in town this year to enjoy it (going to hang with my inlaws for Turkey Day instead….more on that later).  Sit around, talk shit to Chorizy-E and crush mama’s homemade stuffings.  My mom is a humble woman, but she knows her stuffing is the joint, and will announce its presence with authority.
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4 – Wine – There has been a lot of talk, whispers if you will over the years, the unspoken things that you really don’t hear about baseball fans / bloggers / idiots, but I come to you today to tell you the truth……I fuggin’ love wine!  I’m not talking 2 Buck Chuck, I’m talking FINE WINE.  As noted in the Sunday Soak last weekend, I was in Oregon with friends trapsing along the landscape gulping Pinot’s everywhere.  I even have a wine cellar.  I know this is going to be tough on some of you, like when you found out about Rock Hudson or Perry Mason, but I had to come clean today.  The holidays are a great time for wine and I can’t help but sharing with family and friends.  I shan’t nerd out in these pages, but if you want to chat about what an exquisite wine lineup would look like for Turkey Day, hit me up in the DM’s.
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3 – Pie – I’ve time and again had the Pie v. Cake debate with Mrs. MySoxSummer (she’s a cake freak) and I won’t back down from my position that Pie kicks ass and takes names.  The traditional Turkey Day fave is Pumpkin, which to me, is kinda meh…….PIE DRAFT!!!….
The top rated Pies this holiday season are……
5. Peach
4. Apple
3. French Silk
2. Pecan
1. Cherry
I know you probably have your favorites, but face it, none of you out there have ingested as much pie as I have, so please stand down.
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Pretty sure Pumpkin and Apple are on the menu for me this coming Turkey Day and I can’t wait to knock down a nice slice of Apple Pie.  Still debating if its going to be warmed up and with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on it……you wouldn’t look down on me if I did, WOULD YOU?
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2 – Gravy – When everything is going wrong for you, you know who always made you feel good, listened to your concerns and never left your side, that’s right….Gravy!  Now, I know what you are going to say, Gravy isn’t a food, but you’d be wrong.  In the seminal book “Zero to One“, founder of Paypal and investor in Facebook, Peter Thiel asks the question “What is something you believe to be true that most people disagree with you on?“…..For me, this is that Gravy is a food.  I’m pretty partial to sausage gravy being spread all over biscuits for a tasty breakfast, but in this case, normal turkey gravy will do.  I’ll liberally put gravy on my mashed potatoes and stuffing, heck, I’ll probably even dip a dinner roll into my gravy, because IDGAF.  One thing I usually skip the gravy on though, is the #1 answer below, because I love that food THAT much.
 Thanksgiving Meme Turkey Facebook
1 – Turkey – What else were you expecting here?  I’ve always loved Turkey, but my affection grew several years back when my old pal Sal The Balls OUT Guy advised me on making my own holiday Turkey and the rest is history.  I love the ritual of getting the bird all ready and getting the aromatics and the butter compound together.  I also love tearing into the piping hot bird and enjoying the MOIST deliciousness that is a perfectly cooked Turkey.  Now, I know, some of you out there probably have had a bad experience with Holiday Turkey, possibly a Xmas Vacation style bad experience, but I emplore you to give Turkey (like peace) a chance this holiday season.  Besides, what can be more American than Turkey on Thanksgiving………….and speaking of that, a little side note about my father-in-law Champ, whom I’ll be breaking bread with this Thanksgiving.  Way back in the day, when I first started spending holidays with my in-laws I found out that there would be NO TURKEY for thanksgiving…..we would be having HAM…..HAM….can you believe that shit!  Now, this wouldn’t be THAT big of a deal, but Champ is one of these folks that would have #tcot and Patriot in his twitter profile……you know the type.  I can’t think of something less patriotic than fucking HAM for Thanksgiving………you think when the Pilgrims were giving smallpox to the indigenous people of the Americas that they would have the audacity to serve HAM? As Jules Winfield would say, “Pigs are filthy animals, I don’t eat filthy animals”…..(side note, I fucking love Pig, but that’s not material to this post)….no way, our founding fathers were serving a flightless, basically defenseless bird to their new hosts (and infecting them with countless diseases)……Anywho, myself and my bro-in-law KC Kyle restored order and ensured that Turkey would be served then and going forward at the Thanksgiving feast.  So yes, I will be having my #1 on Turkey Day!
Happy Thanksgiving!! From Section 108!!
– BeefLoaf